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[Announcer] (0:01 - 0:18) Think about the Bible like you never have before. You're listening to Christian Questions. Access more audio, videos, and Bible study resources at ChristianQuestions.com.

Our topic is: "Are Gossip and Slander Part of My Social Connections?" Here's Rick and Julie.

[Rick] (0:21 - 0:27) Welcome everyone, I'm Rick, I'm joined by Julie, a longtime contributor. Julie, what's our theme Scripture for this episode?

[Julie] (0:28 - 0:37) Ephesians 4:31: "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice."

[Rick] (0:37 - 2:09) There are many thoughts and actions in life that can short-circuit our Christian lives. We can have weak priorities, we can mismanage our time, we can put forth effort into spiritually unprofitable things, we can improperly use our resources, we can give into laziness and lethargy. All of these things can reduce our daily strength and focus and have a direct influence on us while we also are negatively impacting others.

There's another thought and action combination that can prove to not only hurt us, but also hurt those around us in a deep and long-lasting way. This thought and action combination is common, easy to engage in, and can feel fun and inclusive while insidiously destroying others AND OURSELVES. We're talking about gossip and slander.

Now look, there are many ways the Bible describes gossip and slander. The definitions range from careless whispering, to harmful talk behind someone's back, to deliberate character assassination. For the purposes of our conversation, the least abrasive definition of gossip is hushed, idle, and careless talk.

That's the least abrasive here. It's the creating or repeating of things that should not be said because they're not true, not the whole story, or because they're simply no one else's business. Gossip happens easily and is sometimes unintentional.

[Julie] (2:09 - 2:25) When you think about "gossip" you might picture two people whispering in a hallway, but now of course it takes place through text messages, email chains, social media posts, comment sections, private groups, online forums. The technology has changed the tools, but not the heart behind the behavior.

[Rick] (2:26 - 2:44) Yeah, and that makes it even much, much more difficult. Now slander... slander goes a step further by attacking another person's reputation through falsehood, distortion, or malicious accusations.

It's much harder (though not impossible) to slander someone unintentionally.

[Julie] (2:44 - 3:05) It's definitely a next step forward. In the digital age, slander can spread much farther than just a spoken rumor--a misleading post, an unfounded accusation, an edited clip taken out of context, maybe spreading unverified claims. You can now affect thousands, maybe even more, amount of people in a matter of minutes.

[Rick] (3:05 - 3:06) That's crazy. That's crazy when you think about this.

[Julie] (3:07 - 3:08) A lot of power.

[Rick] (3:08 - 3:22) Yeah, yeah, yeah, we need to recognize that in this 21st century, we engage in gossip and slander by talking, by writing, and by posting!

We engage in all of these different ways.

[Julie] (3:22 - 3:54) You want to think, does technology give me new ways to communicate, or is it giving me new ways to gossip? Some ways might be participating in comment threads that tear down someone's reputation. Do I like, repost, or amplify content that unfairly portrays someone else?

Do I hide behind a screen and say things that I would never say face-to-face? Do I justify gossip because it's presented as news or entertainment or even a prayer request?

[Rick] (3:54 - 4:30) The first point, folks, is we can easily justify things that, according to Scripture, are not very, very, very sound for Christians. James 3:1-18 reveal the darkness of gossip and slander and how they work, and how to stop them. First, we want to just do a general introduction by James, and then some general observations on our part regarding our negative words and the impact they can have on others.

Julie, let's start with James 3. We're going to go through this James throughout the podcast. Let's start with James 3:1-2:

[Julie] (4:30 - 4:36) "Let not many of you become teachers, my brethren, knowing that as such we will incur a stricter judgment."

[Rick] (4:37 - 4:59) Hold on for a second, because this is talking about those who have been given the privilege and responsibility of leadership, of shepherding. He's saying, not many of you should be choosing to do this, willing to accept it, because there is a stricter judgment here. It's a powerful responsibility that we have to be very, very, very clearly aware of.

Go ahead.

[Julie] (4:59 - 5:34) Verse 2: "For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well." This word translated as "perfect" in Greek is used in the sense of a mature, complete, fully developed person.

It doesn't mean sinlessly perfect. James isn't sarcastically saying, "Oh sure, if anyone can control his tongue, he'd be perfect!" He's suggesting that our speech accurately indicates our spiritual condition.

Does the way we speak to and about others reveal our spiritual maturity (or lack thereof)?

[Rick] (5:35 - 6:13) That's really the point that James is going to be making here. The first thing we want to look at from gossip and slander is this: Gossip and slander can be defense mechanisms.

Now, we're putting these gossip and slander observations in, along with James, so we all stop and think. They can be defense mechanisms. Perhaps we feel inferior to someone as comparisons arise, and you just let a little tiny unverified story slip out about them to give others just a little tiny reason for doubt.

"Nothing too big, nothing too significant, but you know, they did fail quite often before this and hey, just no worries..."

[Julie] (6:14 - 6:25) Maybe someone in my church is receiving appreciation for their service, and feeling overlooked, I casually mention one of their past mistakes to kind of tamp down that praise that they're receiving.

[Rick] (6:25 - 6:29) "After all, I mean, the past mistakes were pretty big. It's about time we had something to look positive about..."

[Julie] (6:29 - 6:31) "Well, we don't want to say too much, but..."

[Rick] (6:31 - 6:52) Right, and that's exactly what happens. That's exactly what happens. Okay, let's get back to the point here now.

Leadership in the body of Christ, that's what James started talking about, can be a dangerous and heady thing. It should be a humble thing. The Apostle Paul knew this because that headiness was in his own personal background. Let's look at 1 Timothy 1:13:

[Julie] (6:52 - 7:16) "...even though I was formerly a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent aggressor. Yet I was shown mercy because I acted ignorantly in unbelief..." This Greek word translated "blasphemer" describes abusive and defamatory speech directed at God or people. I always thought it was just saying something bad about God.

[Rick] (7:17 - 7:36) Often in Scripture that word for "blaspheme" is directed about God, but it is expanded and it gives us a greater, deeper responsibility to really watch what we and how we say it. The Apostle Paul is saying, I used to be that way. He's a great example of humility saying, yeah, look, I know what this looks like because I did it.

[Julie] (7:37 - 7:45) Gossip, slander, blasphemy--they're not identical, but they all share the common thread of misuse of speech to tear down someone instead of build them up.

[Rick] (7:45 - 7:53) We've got the basis from James 3:1-2, and gossip and slander is a defense mechanism. Let's go to James 3 now. James 3:3-5:

[Julie] (7:54 - 8:34) "Now if we put the bits into the horses’ mouths so that they will obey us, we direct their entire body as well. Look at the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder wherever the inclination of the pilot desires. So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things.

See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire!" The principle that James is teaching us about controlling our tongue is just as relevant in our day, because our communication happens through our keyboards and our screens, so we have to control our typing fingers. You type so slowly, Rick, you probably wouldn't even be able to gossip by keyboard.

[Rick] (8:35 - 9:23) You're right. I type with three fingers. On the other hand, Julie, you type with all ten, and boy, you can go like lightning.

Whatever it is, be careful. Here, look--gossip and slander--based on what James said--gossip and slander can feed your ego. Maybe we've perceived the need to establish our own importance, okay?

To do so, we don't focus on our own contribution. We could do that, but no, maybe we divert attention to another's perceived or made-up or improperly reported fault or shortcoming. Maybe we just say, "I know this is about me, and it's really fortunate that I don't have that kind of fault, because, that really doesn't doesn't do you well."

But let's focus back on the main thing. What have you done? You've just blown the whole thing up.

[Julie] (9:23 - 9:41) What I have found is that information can be a form of social currency. If people are coming to me for information, that makes me feel important. I'm valued.

I'm perhaps part of a group. Am I talking about others because I like that feeling of being "in the know"?

[Rick] (9:42 - 10:11) That's important, because you talked about that inclusiveness and we've got to be really, really careful with that. The warning here, again, going back to James, began with those who have the most responsibility, those who are given the responsibility of teaching and leading and so forth. With great responsibility comes great temptation.

Let's look at the Pharisees. The context of this Scripture is when they were looking to find reasons to stone Stephen. Here's what they said, or here's what happened in Acts 6:10-11:

[Julie] (10:11 - 10:35) "But they were unable to cope with the wisdom and the spirit with which he was speaking. Then they secretly induced men to say, We have heard him speak blasphemous words against Moses and against God." The Pharisees are persuading people to tell lies about Stephen; trumped-up charges. Ironically, those claiming to defend God's honor were bearing false witness against God's servant.

[Rick] (10:35 - 10:45) They were slandering God's servant so that they could make their point that they were the righteous ones! Think about this.

[Julie] (10:46 - 10:47) Messed up.

That is messed up.

[Rick] (10:47 - 11:10) It is, but do we get involved in that kind of thing? Here's the question:

Does my ego EVER look for ways to demean another for the sake of my own position? Does my ego ever minimize someone else so I can shine? I mean, got to ask that question.

Look in the mirror and nobody else should be in the reflection but me when I look in the mirror.

[Julie] (11:10 - 11:21) An ego might be disguised as concern or a desire to "keep others informed" when we really just want that recognition or influence or superiority.

[Rick] (11:21 - 11:42) Right. How often though when we are trying to "keep others informed" are we telling a story that is not my story to tell? If it's not my story to tell, Rick needs to keep his mouth closed.

Period. It's that simple. Let's go a back to James.

James 3:6:

[Julie] (11:43 - 12:01) "And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity (that means moral wrongfulness); the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles (that word 'defiles' means to stain or soil) the entire body and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by Gehenna."

[Rick] (12:02 - 12:59) James is really becoming very descriptive here, talking about the tongue as a setting on fire iniquity, moral wrongness. It's soiling our entire person because it is a derogatory experience that helps no one and it hurts everyone, especially the person speaking it. Gossip and slander, again, we can use these things and kind of not thinking, it can be a passive-aggressive weapon. Maybe we're engaged in disagreement--that happens--we get into disagreements and we're trying to solidify our perspective as being the correct one and that's what you do when you're in a disagreement, okay?

What do we do? Well, we might share a little gossip or slander with others as an emotional barb against those we disagree with. We're not going to be talking about the subject of disagreement, but, "The 'fact' that they're not that well studied."

But, "I can understand they have their point of view, but they really haven't shown their,..." but "It's okay, it's okay..." Let's continue.

[Julie] (13:00 - 13:12) Maybe "They don't generally follow through, but that's not what matters." Or, "I wouldn't want to judge them, but I've heard they're not trustworthy." "I wouldn't want to judge them (but I will)."

That's not good.

[Rick] (13:12 - 14:04) What we do by doing that little passive-aggressive thing is, we can justify it and we can say, "It wasn't so bad. What I said wasn't so bad." Let me ask you, did Jesus ever say, don't say anything that's "not so bad?"

Or did he say, speak righteously? What we've done is we planted a seed. I mean, if we plant the seed, the seed has the opportunity to grow.

We planted a seed of discord and discredit, and now we are responsible for that seed being there. We have to be so, so, so careful. Our words, be they spoken or written, are the most volatile and contagious factors in our lives.

Let's think about this. Let's think about how this works. They can become a soiling stain, that's what James said, upon our very being.

They begin a course that leads directly to our destruction. Jesus said it well in Matthew 15:11.

[Julie] (14:04 - 14:13) Here he is chastising the Pharisees: "It is not what enters into the mouth that defiles the man, but what proceeds out of the mouth, this defiles the man."

[Rick] (14:13 - 14:51) We need to take that personally. We need to take it personally. Another question--another question to ask in the mirror.

Nobody should be in that mirror but me. Are my words tools of manipulation? Do I ever use them to influence others beyond what's necessary?

Do I ever, ever push the envelope a little bit further for the sake of my own agenda? We need to just understand how important it is to speak only the important things. Julie, did I ever tell you about the time that Homeland Security came to my house?

[Julie] (14:52 - 14:57) No, but that sounds like a really good rumor to start. What did you do, Rick? What did you do?

[Rick] (14:57 - 16:39) Okay, well, that happened several years ago. The Homeland Security agent was actually snooping around our house and left a card, and I ended up talking to this individual. What happened was--very, very briefly--we had association with someone from another country and our address was involved in that association.

It turns out they had association with someone from that other country who was handing out counterfeit money. So big--it was a big thing! Homeland Security is tracking this down.

They're coming and asking us all these questions. We dealt with that and did everything we needed to do to make sure that things were understood. I had a responsibility to talk to one of the other brothers in Christ who was very deeply involved in missionary work throughout the world, because things like this can get out of hand.

There was a warning from Homeland Security on that. I was very, very cautious and I approached this individual and said, "Listen, something happened. I think I need to talk to you about it.

I want to be really careful." And I gave him a little bit of information. I said, "Okay, do you think you need to hear more?"

He said, "Yes," he said, "but only tell me what I need to know." So very cautiously and carefully, we discussed the matter.

He said, "Okay, I got it. I know what to do." It was a great example of...first of all, I was afraid to just blab things, but he was very well-spoken and well thought out and "I'll only hear what I need" and "I will do what's necessary for the appropriate protection of several other individuals."

It's just one very unusual experience in life. It's the only experience, full disclosure, that I've ever had with Homeland Security! But that's what happened.

[Julie] (16:39 - 17:33) I appreciate that because gossip needs both a speaker and a receiver. I appreciate that example that you gave. It reminds me of Proverbs 18:8: "The words of a whisperer are like dainty morsels, and they go down into the innermost parts of the body."

Gossip was "juicy," even in ancient times. It's tasty to consume, but the problem is, once you hear it, gossip is hard to forget even if it turns out to be false. Proverbs 17:4 says: "An evildoer listens to wicked lips; a liar pays attention to a destructive tongue."

Do I passively encourage gossip by listening to it, enjoying it, or asking for more details instead of redirecting the conversation? We often focus on the person speaking, but gossip survives because it has an audience. Spiritual maturity isn't just speaking the gossip, it's what about our willingness to consume it?

[Rick] (17:33 - 17:46) Gossip survives because it has an audience. If it doesn't have an audience, it can't survive. The words fall to the ground, and that's something as listeners we need to be very aware of.

Let's go back to James 3:8-10 now:

[Julie] (17:47 - 18:32) "But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God;

from this same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way." Of course, the "poison" illustrates how damaging words can be, but this "likeness of God statement," it really stuck out to me.

It explains why we should care in the first place. This should affect how we speak to one another. When we carelessly tear one another down, we're speaking against those who God created in His image.

That was the same reason that murder was forbidden according to Genesis 9:6. How we treat people matters because of whose image they bear. That's serious.

[Rick] (18:33 - 19:09) It is, it is, and that's why this is such a big subject, and that's why there's so many aspects of it that need covering. That's why James wrote the third chapter of James, so we would be focusing on this. Here, gossip and slander can be deflectors of attention.

When focus isn't where we're comfortable for it being, revealing something that's dramatic sounding, revealing some dramatic sounding "information" about someone else can ease that discomfort. Yes, I have information. When we call gossip "information," it sounds legitimate, but it's still gossip.

Face the fact!

[Julie] (19:09 - 19:25) Maybe a discussion reveals an area where we're falling short spiritually. Rather than examining ourselves, that mirror you're talking about, we bring up another person's inconsistency or their mistake. Because again, it's easier to talk about their shortcomings and what they're doing wrong than confront our own.

[Rick] (19:25 - 19:32) "After all, they do have things that are pretty obvious, and to recognize them is important."

[Julie] (19:32 - 19:34) "Don't want to judge, but..."

[Rick] (19:34 - 20:15) Right, "But..!" Folks, understand how insidious this is, how easy it is, how conversational gossip and slander can be. We need to be clear on that.

James calls our words in 3:8-10, a "restless evil," an unstable and destructive force dripping with poison. I mean, poison kills, okay? Let's understand.

We use our words to bless God, and then we curse His human creation. That is hypocrisy! We call ourselves Christians, and we do that.

This should not be so. That's what James said. Let's look at another example, 2 Corinthians 12:20:

[Julie] (20:16 - 20:37) "For I am afraid that perhaps when I come I may find you to be not what I wish and may be found by you to be not what you wish; that perhaps there will be strife, jealousy, angry tempers, disputes, slanders (meaning defamation), gossip (the word literally means whispering), arrogance, disturbances."

[Rick] (20:38 - 21:48) The Apostle Paul talking about coming to the Corinthians, saying, you're probably going to be disappointed in me, and maybe I'm going to be disappointed in you, and he says, okay, that's a fact. But what that brings, potentially, is gossip and slander and all of these anger and tempers and disputes and arrogance and disturbances. It brings all of this negativity.

We need to rein in the emotions and start focusing on the higher things. The key here is, words invite actions! Words of gossip, if unchecked, will bring us to actions of unrighteousness, which will bring us to a state of rationalizing and acceptance toward godless behavior.

The recipe for godlessness can easily start with gossip and slander, and then we become godless individuals. That's where we can go with this. Again, another mirror question:

Are my words weapons? Do I EVER aim to hurt someone or some group with my expressions? Do I ever put somebody in the crosshairs so I can sort of take them out because I don't like them and they don't deserve this or that or the other thing?

[Julie] (21:49 - 22:42) That makes me think of the first part of Proverbs 11:9: "With his mouth the godless man destroys his neighbor..." It's easy to think of examples of people using words as weapons; just think about national politics. Yikes.

I'd rather talk about somebody who used words as a tool for peace, and that's our friend Joanna. She spent years volunteering for Christian Questions, responding to difficult and sometimes outright hostile comments online for us, but her words were never weapons. She always responded with patience and kindness, and she could disagree without being disagreeable.

Even when others were determined to argue, Joanna always left them with something scriptural to consider and an example of genuine Christian character. Whenever I respond to anyone online, I always think, "Would Joanna say it this way? Is this the way she would write it?"

[Rick] (22:43 - 23:13) Yeah, she reminds me of someone who had a "velvet hammer." It's hard, but it feels good. It's like, oh, that was nice.

That's an important way to respond, an important action to take when we're in those difficult situations that become so, so negative. Let's go back to James. James now is going to begin to develop the solutions for the rabid results of words spoken and written without godliness.

James 3:11-13, solutions begin here:

[Julie] (23:14 - 23:33) "Does a fountain send out from the same opening both fresh and bitter water? Can a fig tree, my brethren, produce olives, or a vine produce figs? Nor can salt water produce fresh.

Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom."

[Rick] (23:34 - 24:24) "Who among you is wise and understanding?' He's just laid out the horrors of the power of the tongue. Then he talks about "being wise and understanding," showing "by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom." What a powerful theme to think about!

Let's go back to gossip, because gossip and slander can be the result of spiritual indifference. What do we mean by that? We can easily "go along for the ride" spiritually in our Christianity.

Maybe the work is too hard, or it's monotonous. What do we do? We begin to gravitate towards stories or hearsay or conveniences that are appealing, and now we've got something to focus on and share, and now we get to be a part of something because we're feeling included.

Gossip can be the result of spiritual indifference and our attention goes elsewhere.

[Julie] (24:25 - 24:38) Gossip can derail us from the work that God has given us to do, and if we're constantly monitoring what others are doing, we can lose focus on what we are supposed to be doing. Watching the work isn't the same as doing the work.

[Rick] (24:39 - 25:03) Absolutely, positively. James now is giving us points to look at. We're going to look at six solution points.

The first point: Look Hard at Our Words. Look hard at your words. Are they a reflection of the deep principles of Christ's teaching?

Do my words reflect what he taught me? 1 Timothy 6:3-4:

[Julie] (25:04 - 25:29) "If anyone advocates a different doctrine and does not agree with sound words, those of our Lord Jesus Christ, and with the doctrine conforming to godliness, he is conceited and understands nothing; but he has a morbid interest in controversial questions and disputes about words, out of which arise envy, strife, abusive language (that's that same word for blasphemy), evil suspicions." Eww.

[Rick] (25:29 - 26:11) Yeah, good response. I like it. If we don't agree with the "sound words," those of our Lord Jesus, and with" the doctrine conforming to godliness" that he modeled for us, then we are in this place of destructiveness. A big part of that destructiveness is "abusive language."

We can be abusive to others. We need to look hard...look hard at our words. That's the first solution point.

The second solution point that James is leading us towards is: Look Hard at Our Actions. Are they reflective of the gentleness of wisdom that he spoke about? Let's look at 1 Peter 3:16-17:

[Julie] (26:11 - 26:26) "...and keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ will be put to shame. For it is better, if God should will it so, that you suffer for doing what is right rather than for doing what is wrong."

[Rick] (26:26 - 27:10) "Keep a good conscience so that in the thing which you are slandered..." Others can talk. You can't control others talking about you, but we can control our reactions and, well, maybe not our reactions, but our responses to what others are saying. We could easily get into the same boat they're in, or we can choose to stay above and beyond it and outside of it, and have our actions show godliness instead.

The question here, again, the mirror question: Are my words EVER expressed out of carelessness? Are they always seasoned with wisdom? Do I sometimes speak before I think, especially when there's things that can create a little bit of tension?

[Julie] (27:10 - 28:34) Something happened a few weeks ago that is kind of mortifying to me, and I'm going to put this under the category of carelessness or "accidental gossip." Recently somebody asked me a doctrinal question, and they briefly mentioned that some of the church congregations had split over this issue, stopped meeting together. Not wanting to get involved in gossip-- I knew this topic was coming up--

I didn't ask for any details. I paid little attention to that part of the conversation. Later I told you, Rick, in a positive way how encouraged I was that this person asked spiritual questions, and I casually repeated the comment about the congregations. Naturally, you said, "Which ones?"

Concerned that there might be some sort of current problem, I named a congregation, only to realize I was mixing up details from a completely unrelated conversation. You immediately corrected me. You're like, "That is not right and hold on a minute..." because I had accidentally turned this vague comment into a specific rumor. As it turns out--I went back to the person--this incident had happened more than fifty years ago!

That's how wrong I was, and I just off the top of my head rattled something off. That was a great lesson to me, because gossip doesn't always begin with bad motives. Sometimes it begins when we repeat information that we don't know well enough to repeat.

I need to keep my mouth shut!

[Rick] (28:34 - 28:58) That's a great example, because it's easy to take a thought that seems in harmony with, and just bring it in, because "this makes sense.." and you're having a conversation. We don't think about it, but we need to. That's the thing. We need to look hard at not only our words, but how my thinking is working.

What are the actions behind things? Really, really important. Good example, and good recovery.

[Julie] (28:58 - 28:59) Bad example.

[Rick] (28:59 - 29:10) Well, but it's a good recovery, and that's the point. The point is, you went back to the individual and put things in order.

That's the main, main, main point here. Let's continue with James. James 3:14-16:

[Julie] (29:10 - 29:30) "But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. The wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing."

[Rick] (29:31 - 29:55) When you hear what James wrote, he says bitter jealousy plus selfish ambition equal arrogance and lying against the truth. That's essentially the little equation that he put into these verses. JULIE: Demonic.

RICK: Yes! Gossip and slander can be expressions of jealousy.

It started with jealousy. Okay, example: "We've had enough of that individual.

You know the one I'm talking about, right, Julie? You know that one?" Okay.

[Julie] (29:55 - 29:56) That person?

[Rick] (29:56 - 30:14) Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, okay. That one who seems to outshine us, and seems to get what we want or think we maybe should deserve. What do we do?

Yeah, well, you know what? We "expose" them with a story or two that might be just a hair exaggerated. Not a lot.

I mean, I'm not going to over-exaggerate. I wouldn't do that.

[Julie] (30:14 - 30:14) Well ...

[Rick] (30:14 - 30:56) But I, you know, a little embellishment. Exaggerated, or the story's incomplete. You leave out a detail or two.

It's only a detail or two. Or the story is nobody else's business. Julie, that's one of the biggest things about gossip and slander.

Is it your business to be talking about that event in a public fashion with other people? Ninety-nine out of one hundred times, the answer is, nope! It's not.

First point: Look Hard at Your Words. Second point: Look Hard at Our Actions. Third point from James: Look Hard at Our Hearts.

What fills my heart? Can I honestly and humbly see what is there? Let's look at 1 Peter 2:12:

[Julie] (30:57 - 31:11) "Keep your behavior excellent among the Gentiles, so that in the thing in which they slander you as evildoers, they may because of your good deeds, as they observe them, glorify God in the day of visitation (meaning the day of judgment)."

[Rick] (31:11 - 32:03) Your heart, even in the circumstances where you're being falsely judged or hurt or slandered, should be able to rise above those things as a witness because that's what Jesus did. It really is that simple. If I'm walking in his footsteps, I need to do what he did when he was spoken about so poorly.

Let me walk in those footsteps. Look at our words, at our actions, at our hearts. The fourth point is: Label What You Have Seen.

After you've been doing all this looking, label what you've seen. Label it clearly, so there's no mistaking what its source is. For each of our hearts are driven either by the wisdom of Satan--the "wisdom" of Satan--or the wisdom of God.

That's what James said in the Scripture. Let's go to James 4:11. Let's take it apart a little bit.

[Julie] (32:04 - 32:12) "Do not speak against one another, brethren. He who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks against the law and judges the law..."

[Rick] (32:12 - 32:34) You've got this speaking against, speaking against, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it. We need to be clear, and we need to label that. We are speaking against our brother.

We're judging them, and that's not our job! Label it, because that's what gossip and slander are. There's a judgment involved that is beyond our jurisdiction.

[Julie] (32:35 - 32:57) One of the things I learned in studying for this was that the Greek word often translated "devil" is "diabolos," which means "slanderer" or "false accuser." This word gets applied to humans a couple times; 1 Timothy and 2 Timothy and Titus. We don't want the devil's title applied to us! That's not good.

[Rick] (32:57 - 33:25) No, no. The devil's "wisdom" or God's wisdom? Take your time.

Which one do you want to follow? Again, the mirror question: Are my words EVER expressions of jealousy that are aimed at selfishly reducing someone else's value? Do I ever selfishly reduce someone else's value so I can feel a little bit better?

Gossip and slander do that, and folks, it's way too easy to get involved in that. Let's finish up James. Julie, let's go to James 3:17-18:

[Julie] (33:25 - 33:27) "But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace."

[Rick] (33:41 - 35:02) You've got all of those attributes, and then it talked about the seed. We talked about planting seeds before. Here's the spiritually-founded seed.

Last point on gossip and slander; gossip and slander can be the result of carelessness and opportunity. Carelessness by overhearing one end of a conversation and jumping to conclusions;

opportunity because there's something in our experience that causes doubt, and this carelessly adopted story can easily mask that self-doubt. We need to be careful. We need to put things in order.

We need to make sure that we are accurately representing what's happened to us. Just a quick side note, quick side story, work experience with one of my business associates. I'm a supervisor in the business that I work in, and my associate--I'm going to call him Bob--had a problem, a very legitimate problem, with the home office that messed something up.

It was a legitimate problem, and he was angry and he had a right to be. Absolutely had a right to be. He's talking to me about it and is explaining what he's doing and how he's handling the client, something he suggested to the client to do.

Then a couple of days later, he's explaining further, and he changed the story. Instead of his suggesting to the client to do things, he said, well the client suggested to do this. Now I knew that wasn't true because first time he told me that he had suggested.

Tiny difference, but it made the anger bigger.

[Julie] (35:03 - 35:04) Justified more anger.

[Rick] (35:04 - 35:50) Right, right. The carelessness made the story lose some of its credibility because now the facts were distorted. We just have to be careful, and the emotion is what carried it.

I understand that, but we just need to be careful. Even if our words are merely the results of careless thinking, they need swift correction! Swift correction.

The fifth point: Claim Heavenly Attributes for Our Hearts. If we truly claim these attributes, our actions and our words will follow suit and also claim them with unrelenting sincerity. What heavenly attributes? Go back to James--pure, peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy, good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy, those are the seeds you plant.

Those are the heavenly attributes that you claim for your heart.

[Julie] (35:50 - 36:10) I heard a story about a quiet brother in Christ, and someone had remarked to him, "You don't say much, do you?" He answered, "That just means I have less to account for." His response reflects the biblical principle that our words matter, and every unnecessary criticism, rumor, or careless comment has its consequences.

[Rick] (36:10 - 36:36) It does, and those are words of wisdom, and that side, there's such wisdom in that kind of silence. We need to claim these heavenly attributes for our hearts. The sixth point, the final point: Plant Those Attributes Which You've Claimed. It's one thing to claim them, plant them, cultivate them.

To plant is a clear decision that requires desire, thought, planning, and action. Julie, final Scripture, Ephesians 4:30-32:

[Julie] (36:36 - 37:34) "Do not grieve the holy spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you."

There are SO MANY Scriptures, this is just one example, that talks about how much God hates gossip and evil talk. It's a great homework assignment to find all of those and consider just how serious this is. Today, we not only have to think about "What am I saying?" but "What am I sharing?" Even Christians who would never think of verbally slandering somebody might be still tempted to participate in online gossip just by forwarding, liking, taking a screenshot, reposting, commenting on something that is untrue, unverified, none of your business, or even harmful.

[Rick] (37:34 - 38:54) Again, things like that can happen without our intention, but you forward it or you post it or you do whatever it is because you're just not thinking it through. It's so critically important for us to think these things through as representatives of Christ. Handling the Challenge of Gossip and Slander: For every true Christian, gossip and slander are--always and without exception--forbidden zones.

Our hearts and minds MUST be ever vigilant in fulfilling our decision to never let them see the light of day. Instead, let us intentionally focus our energy as the Apostle directs in Philippians 4:8: "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things."

If we spend our time dwelling on these things, we have no time to repeat those things. We have no time to post them, to think about them, to repeat them, to listen to them, because we're listening to that which is godly through Christ. Let gossip and slander no longer be a part of our daily lives.

Think about it. Coming up in our next episode: "Are Christians Allowed to Complain and What Are the Limits?"

Final Notes: copyright @2026 Christian Questions. In addition to this transcript, we provide comprehensive CQ Rewind Show Notes for every episode. They include every scripture quoted during the podcast, as well as graphics, illustrations and bonus material. Click the "CQ Rewind Show Notes" button near the audio player or sign up to receive these weekly at ChristianQuestions.com. This transcript was created using artificial intelligence. While we believe it to be accurate, we apologize for any errors that may exist.