[Announcer] (0:00 - 0:17) Think about the Bible like you never have before. You're listening to Christian Questions. Experience more episodes, videos, and Bible study resources at ChristianQuestions.com.
Our topic is: "Are Soul Ties Biblical?" Here's Rick and Julie.
[Rick] (0:19 - 0:26) Welcome, everyone. I'm Rick. I'm joined by Julie, a long-time contributor.
Julie, what's our theme scripture for this episode?
[Julie] (0:26 - 0:44) Mark 10:6-9: But from the beginning, God MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE. FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL ALSO LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH...what therefore God has joined together, let no man separate."
[Rick] (0:44 - 1:34) Human beings are different from all the rest of God's creation. Of all the creatures on this earth, we were the only ones created in God's image. God was intentional with this, as the human race was meant to be an extension of God's family here on this planet. He created us as social- and relationship-oriented beings.
We were created to be connected, not just with our Creator, but with each other. In many spiritually based groups, this connectivity is defined by the phrase "soul ties." Soul ties are often described as the most intense connections people can have between them.
They're credited with having their basis on a mystical level. The question is, do these soul ties accurately represent what God intended humanity's connections to look like, or are they way off base? Julie?
[Julie] (1:35 - 2:38) Well, let me start you off. As you said, a soul tie is an intense bond between two people. It can feel all-consuming.
Now, it's different from the common expression "soulmate," in that it doesn't have to be romantic or even with only one person. A soul tie allegedly can exist between friends or even enemies or business associates. It can be created by physical intimacy or other shared experiences that form an emotional bond, and it can also be created by making vows or promises to somebody out loud.
The thought is that these words remain in existence somewhere in the universe and they're binding. You could be tied to someone, it said, from a past life, and it could be created by a magical love spell or a binding spell. Now the idea of these soul ties is very popular on social media, and while it originates from New Age teachings of these mystical connections, some Christians have embraced this idea as having its basis in Scripture.
We want to take an honest look and see if that's actually true.
[Rick] (2:38 - 2:59) All right, so that's a mouthful to get started with. It gives us a sense of soul ties. You mentioned some Christians say, yes, this is real.
Some Christians use the account, actually, of Adam and Eve being joined as a basis to justify these soul ties. Let's look at Genesis 2:21-24:
[Julie] (3:00 - 3:29) "So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man and brought her to the man.
The man said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh."
[Rick] (3:30 - 3:53) As Christians, we look at this and we look at this as a beautiful example of the joining together of a man and woman in marriage. It never occurred to me that some would look at this and say, well, this is an example of a soul tie, because I've always seen it as this is a very human thing that God built into the human race.
[Julie] (3:54 - 4:11) Well, it said then that this two parts of their soul were knit together. I did find a great quote from christianity.com that said, "...when people become 'one flesh' they are not combining their souls. A person does not find their 'better half' when they marry because, humans aren't halves."
[Rick] (4:11 - 4:31) You're right. We've got that principle and we can see how some would say, yes, this is a basis for that soul tie thing here. Let's shift now.
Let's shift to another scripture that seems to verify soul ties. Let's go to Genesis 34:1-4:
[Julie] (4:32 - 4:52) "Now Dinah the daughter of Leah...went out to visit the daughters of the land. When Shechem...saw her, he took her and lay with her by force. He was deeply attracted to Dinah the daughter of Jacob, and he loved the girl and spoke tenderly to her.
So Shechem spoke to his father Hamor, saying, Get me this young girl for a wife."
[Rick] (4:53 - 5:39) In this experience with Dinah and this man Shechem, he abuses her, okay--let's put it where it is. But then it says he's "deeply attracted" and he wants to marry her.
It says he loved her. Again, from what you described, Julie, there are those that take this and say, you see, there was this tie that just bound them together. It was sort of this relentless connection.
Without going into too much detail, this event ended up being a very, very hideous event of death and destruction. Now we'll leave it at that. All of this became a tremendous, tremendous mess.
But what you're saying is this is one of those scriptures that they say to us, yeah, this is what soul ties are all about.
[Julie] (5:39 - 6:42) Yeah, they're tied. Now, this was such a negative, sad event. But soul ties are often described in this negative sense as the reason why you're being held back in some area of your life.
You're encouraged to think about all these negative ties and then sever them. You might have a hard time letting go after a breakup, or you can't see life without this person. Your self-worth is based on this other person.
One of you exhibits manipulative and controlling behavior or obsessive and possessive behavior, so your soul tie has to be severed. There's seemingly no limit to the number of spiritual healers who will be very happy to help you unknit your souls from one another.
But what bothers me is that we're seeing a lot of Christian deliverance ministries helping people break these soul ties with the belief that demons can travel to and from this connection that people have. The human mind is very creative, and I'm worried that this quickly steps into the realm of mythology, witchcraft, paganism.
It's kind of a warning bell.
[Rick] (6:42 - 7:16) Well, it is. It's a big warning bell. I'm glad you brought all that stuff up here and now,
because what we want to do is go through a few more scriptures that give us this idea of, hey, maybe soul ties are scriptural, and then put it in perspective and say, hang on, wait a minute, this is not what you think. Now let's go to one, I think, of the key scriptures that those who believe in soul ties would go to. This is the friendship between Jonathan and David.
It was remarkable. The question is, was this a soul tie? Let's look at 1 Samuel 18:1:
[Julie] (7:17 - 7:34) "Now it came about when he had finished speaking to Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as himself." Well, there it is. Their souls were knit together.
It's definitely poetic, and it sure sounds like this idea of a soul tie.
[Rick] (7:34 - 7:55) Well, that word "knit" actually means "to tie, physically or mentally." You do have the sense that this is, in a sense, literally saying their souls were tied, their lives were tied together. What do we do with that?
Well, let's look a little further. Let's look a little further into this relationship between Jonathan and David. Let's go to 1 Samuel 18:3-4:
[Julie] (7:55 - 7:59) "Then Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor, including his sword and his bow and his belt."
[Rick] (8:11 - 9:35) You can see this incredible connectivity, and that's what's there. In these two examples, we have what looks like very strong bonds of connection being established. In the example with Dinah, it was a very negative connection, but nevertheless very strong.
In the example of Jonathan and David, a very positive connection. Do these examples give credibility to the concept of soul ties being scripturally sound? The answer is no, they don't.
They simply don't, and there's several reasons why. We'll get into Jonathan and David and some of the reasons behind their friendship in a few minutes, but here you notice that in the Dinah scripture, it says that Shechem loved her. In this Samuel scripture, it says that Jonathan loved David.
That word for "love" is very broadly used in the Old Testament, and it does, it can, in certain instances, have sort of a romantic twinge to it, but it really actually means "to have affection." Let's look at the breadth of that meaning, because once we see the breadth, things begin to become a little bit more clear. One of the ways we look at this word is, it describes admiration.
It describes admiration, which has a sense of respect. Julie, we want to develop that. How do we do that?
[Julie] (9:36 - 9:57) Well, I have two scriptures for you, both in Leviticus 19. Verse 18 says: "...you shall love (and that's that same word) your neighbor as yourself; I am the LORD." Verse 34 says: "The stranger who resides with you shall be to you as the native among you, and you shall love (same word) him as yourself, for you were aliens in the land of Egypt."
[Rick] (9:57 - 10:10) Really, if you take soul ties and say, well, Shechem loved Dinah and Jonathan loved David, and that's the word that connects them, then you'd have to say that everybody in the nation of Israel had to have a soul tie.
[Julie] (10:11 - 10:15) Oh, yeah, because everybody's tied to their neighbor, everybody's tied to the stranger, everybody's tied to everybody.
[Rick] (10:15 - 12:09) You can't take that word and just focus it in like that. It's a broad meaning. It's a broad meaning.
Let's look at Jonathan and David and understand what happened. Why did Jonathan have this great affection for David? Here's what happened just before that:
David had just done something pretty unusual. The young man David, the teenager, stood up against the giant Goliath and killed him in a one-on-one battle. He had done that in the name of God and in the name of Israel.
When there was no soldier in the entire army who would stand up against that man, this kid comes and he kills the giant. David's faith and courage had saved Israel, and Israel was King Saul's kingdom. King Saul was Jonathan's father.
Jonathan watched David save his father's kingdom in the name of God. Jonathan saw that and was drawn to him because he was drawn to the courage and the faith and the clarity of his thinking. He (Jonathan) had this covenanted relationship with him (David) because you are what we all want to be.
When I grow up, I want to be like you. That's kind of the thing that we have, and the relationship, their friendship was incredible.
It was incredible because they were both men of very high levels of character. This is not some mystical soul tie, this is a tie based on, I see what you've done and I am drawn to that. I want to be a part of your life.
It's a wonderful relationship. Let's go a little bit further. After King Saul, after David becomes king and he dies, we have King Solomon come into play.
Here we're going to have this love thing come up all again. Weren't King Solomon's connections with all of those foreign women, I don't know, hundreds and hundreds of them?
[Julie] (12:09 - 12:12) Seven hundred wives and a lot of concubines.
[Rick] (12:12 - 12:13) I think there were three hundred concubines.
[Julie] (12:13 - 12:14) A lot of women.
[Rick] (12:14 - 12:40) It's ridiculous, okay. His connection with these foreign women, weren't they evidences of dangerous and unhealthy soul ties? Because people can say, well, he was drawn to them and here you have it and you've got this together.
What are you supposed to do? Let's look at how the Bible describes it. Before we start with that, let's look at Solomon's devotion to God.
Let's look at 1 Kings 3:3:
[Julie] (12:40 - 12:48) Now Solomon loved (and again that's that same Hebrew word) the LORD, walking in the statutes of his father David." So far so good.
[Rick] (12:48 - 13:08) Same Hebrew word. He loved God. Then we go down to what happens a little later in his rule; the distractions, the power of his kingship overrode his devotion to God. We're going to see that in 1 Kings 11:1-2:
[Julie] (13:08 - 13:26) Now King Solomon loved (same word) many foreign women...from the nations concerning which the LORD had said to the sons of Israel, You shall not associate with them, nor shall they associate with you, for they will surely turn your heart away after their gods. Solomon held fast to these in love."
[Rick] (13:27 - 14:26) To those in admiration, he was drawn to them. You can say, well, these were soul ties. The answer is, no, they weren't.
No, they weren't. They were attractions that Solomon entertained and then rationalized into becoming a way of life, and it cost him dearly. I know those people who believe in soul ties can argue, but see, that's the danger of soul ties.
No; that's the danger of lust. That's the danger of misplacing your dedication in life. When we believe in this concept of soul ties, what's happening is we're taking life circumstances and we're saying they're beyond my reach now.
I am a victim of what happens around me and I have no choice. You look at what Solomon wrote afterwards and what he said in Proverbs all the time was, all is vanity, all is vanity, all is vanity. He learned.
He learned. This is not mystical. This is human emotion running wild.
We need to understand that and call it exactly what it is.
[Julie] (14:26 - 15:15) Yeah, and in the case of Solomon, it was pretty blatant idolatry because he was going after these foreign women. I've noticed a pattern with these Christian internet preachers that say that this is scriptural. They hold up as proof whatever scripture legitimately describes any kind of meaningful relationship like those that we've gone over.
Two more that you might hear of is 1 Corinthians 6:16. That was a warning in the New Testament that sleeping with prostitutes results in "the two shall become one flesh;" very similar to that Adam and Eve. They say this soul tie is created through the sexual act.
Colossians 2:2 where the Apostle Paul says the hearts of the brethren have been "knit together in love." Therefore, they say, we have a soul tie with every other believer.
[Rick] (15:16 - 15:46) Well, first of all, if you're "knit together in love"--and that I believe is that selfless love--that's a choice. That's not a destiny that's driven by some mystical power. You've decided to be there.
Folks, that's really the core value of what we're talking about here. This is all about making choices. Let's not make it about something where we can rationalize our feelings away and say, well, I'm just a victim of it.
No, you're not. Stand up.
[Julie] (15:46 - 16:32) Yeah. Making and breaking soul ties is an appealing concept these days. It can be an excuse for bad behavior by rationalizing promiscuity because, well, you have no choice.
You're supernaturally tied to this person and this person and this person and this person. It provides an explanation for why we hurt so much when a relationship goes bad, so we like to have that reasoning.
It's a romantic notion made even more popular by people like the biggest selling recording artist in the world, Taylor Swift, who has a song called "Invisible String." The lyric is: "Isn't it just so pretty to think all along there was some invisible string tying you to me?" Oh, it is so pretty.
[Rick] (16:35 - 17:14) Are we going down so pretty a road now? I mean, really...
JULIE
It's attractive. RICK
Well, well, it is attractive.
You're right. But sin is attractive. Darkness is attractive.
Evil is attractive. Godlessness is attractive. Are we going to say, well, we're just going to get stuck in all of those things?
Please let's understand that we as human beings were given free choice. We were given the ability to to to look at things and assess things. Yes, our natural inclination can draw us into something and we can feel like, OK, this isn't very good.
But we have choices. We absolutely have choices.
[Julie] (17:15 - 17:19) Humans have connections, and that's what the explanation here is.
[Rick] (17:19 - 17:24) All right. Now we've got this problem, and we've got this mystical issue, right?
[Julie] (17:24 - 17:25) Right.
[Rick] (17:25 - 17:26) OK, what are we going to do about it?
[Julie] (17:27 - 17:28) I'd like to go to the Bible.
[Rick] (17:28 - 17:56) OK, well, and see, that's the thing. You talked about all of this stuff about, well, we can help you undo this in these mystical fashions. Well, what does the Bible say about that kind of approach to this perceived problem? The principles of the Old Testament show a very clear cut response to anything resembling these approaches.
Pay close attention; Deuteronomy 18:10-13:
[Julie] (17:57 - 19:03) "There shall not be found among you anyone who makes his son or his daughter pass through the fire, one who uses divination, one who practices witchcraft, or one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer, or one who casts a spell, or a medium, or a spiritist, or one who calls up the dead. For whoever does these things is detestable to the LORD; and because of these detestable things the LORD your God will drive them out before you.
You shall be blameless before the LORD your God." Now, why is this an important scripture for us? Well, beyond that romantic notion is this--and you've alluded to it--this mystical part where you now need certain rituals to break these ties that are ruining your life.
They look an awful lot like witchcraft involving white candles and salt and cord cutting rituals and specific prayers and magic spells. We can't be more clear about this. These demons traveling through this metaphorical string, what this is doing is it creates an environment that's unnecessary of fear, and it feeds into demonology; wanting to look into these things that we're not supposed to look into.
[Rick] (19:04 - 20:01) What it says in Deuteronomy is "whoever does these things is detestable to the Lord." That's an Old Testament scripture. Jesus doesn't, by the way, say in the New Testament, oh, forget that part of the Law.
He didn't even have to address it because it was so clearly ungodly. It was idolatry to the max, it was ungodly; didn't even need to mention it. When we look at this we need to say, if you're getting involved in something that says, well, I need to cut this by doing this ritual and that ritual and with the demon thing, forget it.
You are dwelling in a realm that is ungodly, and if you call yourself a Christian and you're going down that road, you'd better think again, and you'd better think right now, because to go down a road of mysticism is as unchristian a response as we can possibly find.
[Julie] (20:02 - 20:26) But Rick, humans do have legitimate relationship issues. We might need to seek counseling for ways of coping with past or present relationships. The hurt and pain, it's real. All rituals, perhaps, that a counselor might suggest--take all their things that you have and throw them out, or light a match or whatever--all rituals aren't evil and demonic.
How do we balance that?
[Rick] (20:26 - 21:55) Well, and you're right, there are certain physical things that we can do to help get past very difficult circumstances in our lives, and you know me, I am a great proponent of getting counseling and help when you need it. Those things are not leaning toward mysticism; they're leaning toward giving your mind clear steps to clear something out of your past so you can move into the present and then move on by approaching the future. That is an acceptable way to look at things. When you tie the mysticism, and the salt and the candles and all of these things, and the magic spells, and the spirit realm, you've gone way too far.
We don't need those things. What we need is the kind of "ritual," like you said, that helps our mind--our human mind--focus on a human level to make a human choice, so we can humanly go in a better direction according to God's grace. Let's look at this whole thing. Let's look at how we work at Rejecting Soul Ties.
First, we need to see the problem as it truly is. That's the first step. Instead of trying to see harmful relationships as driven by mystical powers with mystical threads that connect us, let's see them as what they really are.
Here's what they are; sin and darkness that are rooted in the sin of Adam and in the influence of Satan. Let's look at Ephesians 6:10-13:
[Julie] (21:55 - 22:25) "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm."
[Rick] (22:26 - 23:53) Next in the scripture comes the "armor of God"-- the breastplate of righteousness, the helmet of salvation, the sword of the spirit and the shield of faith, and the girdle of truth, and all of these things. You have all of this.
This is not ritual, Julie. This is taking our humanness and saying, I need God's help in my human struggle. Let me arm myself with faith--not in the rituals--but in God, in the word of God.
Let me arm myself with righteousness. The breastplate of righteousness covers your heart, covers your vital organs. It's no accident that it's called righteousness.
It's not ritual. Righteousness is what protects us, not ritual. We need to see that this is how we do it.
The scriptures give us the answers. Don't go down the road of mysticism. We've got this rejecting of soul ties, first point.
We need to see the problem as it truly is. Let's go to the second point to Reject Soul Ties. Second, we need to stay focused on scriptural responses to our challenges;
scriptural responses to our challenges. I said scriptural responses to our challenges. Handling all challenges comes down to our decision to focus our thinking and then focus our actions, both in accordance with clearly delivered guidance from God's word.
2 Corinthians 10:3-5:
[Julie] (23:53 - 24:14) For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God,
and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ."
[Rick] (24:14 - 25:21) There it is; "taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ." It's not seeking from the outside in. It's saying, I am going to immerse myself in the word of God, in God's help, God's direction, fellowship with those of like faith. I'm going to immerse myself in those things and work on having my thoughts be captivated to following Jesus's example. That's one captivation that we should all be desperately wanting.
We want that to be our driving force. Our reactions need to be scripturally based. The third point in Rejecting Soul Ties--and notice we're not saying the third point in reconsidering--we're saying reject.
It's done, it's over, you don't want it. The third point is we need to look inwardly and we need to do so honestly. See, seeing our own weaknesses helps us see a scriptural path to dealing with our own weaknesses.
Let's look at James 4:1-4:
[Julie] (25:43 - 26:32) "What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members? You lust and do not have; so you commit murder. You are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask with the wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures. You adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility towards God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God." It comes down to this idea of, it's all about me and what I want and when I want it.
Why is this concept, we were wondering, so popular, especially among younger people? One possible reason is this idea that's prevalent of ethical non-monogamy or polyamory. It means having multiple intimate relationships with full knowledge and consent of all the parties that are involved.
This doesn't align with God's laws against adultery and fornication, so you need this other excuse, this other reason; well, this is just the way the universe works.
[Rick] (26:33 - 28:04) No, it's not the way the universe works, it's the way a sinful mind can work. We need to take it out of the universe and bring it down to ourselves and say, I am responsible. Look, if somebody is not a Christian and they're doing all that, I mean, that's the way they choose to live their lives.
In the resurrection, they're going to have to deal with all of that and all of the little lies that they told themselves along the way, and all of that's all going to come out. But for Christians, here and now, it's look inwardly and do it honestly and say, I cannot, I will not act upon my desires that are not in line with whatever the scriptures tell me, period.
You don't need to be fighting a soul tie. You need to be fighting your own internal thinking and heart and emotion. That's where our fight is. The fourth point in Rejecting Soul Ties is we need to be keenly aware of who we are listening to.
You brought a lot of sources out here in this particular episode. We need to be wary of those who encourage mystical responses relating to the perceived soul ties in the name of Christ. This next scripture is the Apostle Paul commenting on those who preach the gospel, but it wasn't the gospel.
It was a fake gospel that they relabeled and renamed to look like the real thing. This is 2 Corinthians 11:13-14:
[Julie] (28:04 - 28:37) "For such men are false apostles, deceitful workers, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ. No wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light." Along these lines, I found alleged healers online and on social media advising that it's okay to ask for assistance from angels when dealing with our soul ties.
One advised that if you work with archangels, consider calling upon Michael every time you feel that soul tie get triggered. I knew you wouldn't like that, Rick.
[Rick] (28:38 - 29:19) This goes into the absurd. Folks, if you claim Christianity and you're stuck in that world and you're thinking about contacting angels and archangels, stop here, stop now, and walk exactly the other way. You are dealing with demonism.
That's what you're dealing with, because angels don't respond to us. They are sent when God sends them.
They don't come because we call them. Let's get it straight. Don't listen to those who guide you down such pathways.
It will ruin your Christianity. Julie, you got me all worked up.
[Julie] (29:20 - 29:22) Sorry. I knew that was going to be a biggie.
[Rick] (29:23 - 29:36) All right, the last point, the fifth point in Rejecting Soul Ties is we need to be ever watchful of our heart, our words, our intentions, and our direction. Proverbs 4:23-27:
[Julie] (29:37 - 30:00) "Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life. Put away from you a deceitful mouth and put devious speech far from you.
Let your eyes look directly ahead and let your gaze be fixed straight in front of you. Watch the path of your feet and all your ways will be established. Do not turn to the right or to the left;
Turn your foot from evil."
[Rick] (30:00 - 30:40) In this scripture we can see it talks about make sure your heart is in the right place. Make sure that your words are speaking the right things. Let your eyes, don't let them wander, let them look straight ahead.
Watch where you go. Don't turn to the left or to the right. It's telling us, stay clear.
Nothing mystical. All choice. As Christians we need to make these choices clearly and firmly and daily and stay with them.
Julie, as we put this all together, we are really working at tying down the mythology of soul ties.
[Julie] (30:40 - 31:03) Our role as Christians was simply explained by Jesus when he said that his followers are in the world but not of the world. Let us be on our guard against this ever-evolving range of thoughts and ideas that the world brings forward, especially those that pave the way for our inappropriate human desires to be rationalized and accepted. Stand strong.
Walk away.
[Rick] (31:04 - 31:58) That's really the key. Stand strong. Walk away.
Folks, this is a simple, simple process. Now, the other side of this issue may be enticing. It may feel like a way to kind of get what you want without having to take responsibility, but it's all lies. It's all lies.
It's all devious lies that take us away from the true meaning and the true focus and true direction of our lives, and that is to walk in Jesus' footsteps. Don't let soul ties even enter your mind. They're fictional, they're mythological, and they don't belong.
Think about it. Folks, we love hearing from our listeners. We welcome your feedback and questions on this episode and other episodes at christianquestions.com.
Coming up in our next episode: "Do Christians Get to Judge Others?"
Final Notes: copyright @2025 Christian Questions. In addition to this transcript, we provide comprehensive CQ Rewind Show Notes for every episode. They include every scripture quoted during the podcast, as well as graphics, illustrations and bonus material. Click the "CQ Rewind Show Notes" button near the audio player or sign up to receive these weekly at ChristianQuestions.com. This transcript was created using artificial intelligence. While we believe it to be accurate, we apologize for any errors that may exist.