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Announcer (00:00:00): Think about the Bible like you never have before. You are listening to Christian Questions. Experience more episodes, videos and Bible study resources at ChristianQuestions.com. Our topic is, "Is Mourning Out Loud Over Our Losses Good for Us?" When someone emotionally cries out loud about something that has caused them deep anguish, many of us feel uncomfortable. We think, do you have to make a scene? Actually, the Bible not only has a place for such emotional displays, it teaches us their powerful purpose as well. What is it? Here's Rick and Jonathan.

Rick (00:00:37): Welcome everyone. I'm Rick. I'm joined by Jonathan, my cohost for over 25 years. Jonathan, what's our theme scripture for this episode?

Jonathan (00:00:46): Nehemiah 1:4: "When I heard these words, I sat down and wept and mourned for days; and I was fasting and praying before the God of heaven."

Rick (00:00:57): Everyone experiences loss in their lives in one way or another. How we attempt to cope with those losses depends on several things. First, the kind of loss we're facing can dictate whether our response to it is mild, strong or severe. Second, our cultural environment offers up expectations as to how our mild/stronger/severe responses are to be displayed. In biblical days, grieving over difficult losses was often displayed in a very outward, very public manner. The Bible is full of examples of such public crying, wailing, renting of clothes and despair. For many of us in our present-day mindset, these things may seem to be over-the-top, and let's face it, they may seem to be too dramatic. Actually, when we seek to understand all of this lamenting, we find very strong lessons of faith, growth and acceptance.

Jonathan (00:01:59): Let's begin by understanding what mourning truly is. Outward mourning, also known as lamenting, appears for many reasons in the Bible. First, we need to establish that lamenting is an acceptable part of our human experience. Ecclesiastes 3:1-4: "There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven--a time to give birth and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted. A time to kill and a time to heal; a time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance." This Old Testament word for "mourn" means "to tear the hair and beat the breast as Orientals do in grief; generally, to lament; by implication, to wail."

Rick (00:02:54): Man, the deep emotional grief expressed in this word is painfully obvious. The idea of tearing your hair, beating your breast in anguish. You just, you feel the depth of what's happening here and the fact that it's compared with, in Ecclesiastes in that verse 4, "a time to dance," which means "a time to spring about wildly or for joy." These are two dramatically different things. It gives us a sense of how opposite these public-like actions are. Lamenting was not just feeling bad and quietly crying, which by the way is entirely appropriate. We'll expand that a little bit more as we go. Lamenting is an outward expression of anguish and grief. That is what it is, and that is where we want to sort of kick off our conversation on how do we understand this more fully? Lamenting is appropriate for many, many reasons, and we're going to touch on many reasons as we go through our segments with you today. We begin with lamenting personal loss.

Jonathan (00:04:03): An example of personal loss is lamenting a spouse. The first time this word for "lamenting" appears in Scripture is when Sarah, Abraham's wife, died. Genesis 23:1-2: "Now Sarah lived one hundred and twenty-seven years; these were the years of the life of Sarah. Sarah died...in the land of Canaan; and Abraham went in to mourn for Sarah and to weep (or bemoan) for her." This is a deep anguish on the part of Abraham. He is personally and outwardly expressing his loss.

Rick (00:04:37): When it says, he "went in to mourn," it's that same word from Ecclesiastes. And you think about this: he lost his wife. But think about Abraham and Sarah and, Jonathan, all the things they went through for all of those years; the promised child, and then having to wait 25 years, and laughing. It's an amazing story of drama that the two lived. You can just feel and imagine just the anguish of losing his partner like that. Lamenting over the loss of a spouse is a very, very, very legitimate way that we outwardly express that anguish. The next example here is lamenting over the loss of a child. The raw emotion of loss is revealed with a different word. When Jacob's sons led him to believe that Joseph was killed by a wild beast, in fact, they had sold him into slavery. Jonathan, let's look at Genesis 37:29-35. I know you're just going to sum up parts of those verses:

Jonathan (00:05:41): Let's look back at the story of Joseph. Joseph's brothers put him in the pit because of jealousy. Verse 29 reads: "Now Reuben returned to the pit, and behold, Joseph was not in the pit; so he tore his garments." This was an outward display of grief. Then the brothers sold Joseph into slavery and poured goat's blood on his coat of many colors to show their father Jacob and trick him into believing Joseph was dead. Here was Jacob's reaction, verses 34-35: "So Jacob tore his clothes, and put sackcloth on his loins and mourned for his son many days. Then all his sons and all his daughters arose to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. And he said, Surely I will go down to sheol in mourning for my son. So his father wept for him." This Old Testament word for "mourn" is a different word, and it means "to bewail or lament."

Rick (00:06:42): You see Jacob's grief is very outward. Look, his son wasn't even dead but he absolutely, positively believed it to be so. I can't even imagine the kind of grief in the loss of child. We've known several individuals to suffer the loss of children when they're young, and it's just overwhelming. You look at this and the Scriptures bring us to these things, and they show us the responses to these things, and there's something here for us to learn. Jacob is so grief stricken he could not be comforted. He couldn't be comforted by his family. He refused the comfort. This shows us the outward nature of his anguish. It was such a deep, soul-shattering experience that he had to feel it. The Scriptures are really beginning to show us this is appropriate. We feel; we need to be able to express that feeling. Next, let's go to the next kind of lamenting here in terms of personal loss. We went through from a spouse to a child. Let's go to lamenting the loss of a parent. When Jacob died, Joseph asked Pharaoh's permission to bury Jacob in Canaan. Jonathan, Genesis 50:

Jonathan (00:08:01): Well, Pharaoh not only gave his permission, but he sent along many of his own servants, soldiers and officials for support and protection. Joseph and his household, his brothers and his father's household all traveled to Canaan together. Let's read Genesis 50:10: "When they came to the threshing floor of Atad, which is beyond the Jordan, they lamented there with a very great and sorrowful (or severe) lamentation (or wailing); and he observed seven days of mourning for his father."

Rick (00:08:35): Now we have Jacob in his death being mourned, and we see lamenting is not just on a personal level, but it's on a community level. They mourned. You see this group that mourned, and several went with Joseph here. This wasn't just one or two. This was a whole caravan of individuals, and they are mourning. The outward grieving here is widespread as the death of Jacob was truly a bitter and solemn end. Again, Jonathan, let's pause for a moment here, because think of who Jacob was. He was renamed "Israel," okay? There's a hint for you how important he was.

Jonathan (00:09:16): For sure.

Rick (00:09:17): He had these twelve sons; they became the nation of Israel. You had Abraham, Isaac, one person, one person, Jacob, one person, bang! Twelve sons. They become the nation, and as they say, the rest is history. But when the father of the nation of those twelve sons dies, it is an event to stop and look back upon and to realize his faith and to know what it feels like to miss him being there.

Jonathan (00:09:45): Dodie Lemley is a friend of ours and a retired marriage, family and child counseling therapist--a licensed mental health professional who specialized in providing counseling services to individuals, couples and families. She wrote a booklet called "From Mourning to Morning." That is mourning; M-O-U-R-N-I-N-G to morning, M-O-R-N-I-N-G. That's available free of charge. It offers many practical suggestions for adults and children to work through their feelings. We will include a link in this week's CQ Rewind Show Notes available on our website and our app, or you can write us at [email protected].

Rick (00:10:27): Yeah, Sister Dodie is a wonderful Christian, and to have done that kind of work in her life for a living, it really, really does give us a sense of accomplishment in being able to help people through these difficult circumstances. We're looking at this, and we want to understand. Lamenting Lessons Learned, Jonathan, where are we so far?

Jonathan (00:10:50): To lament is to express outward anguish over the loss of someone or something of great importance. Rick, where does lamenting bring us?

Rick (00:11:00): Lamenting initially brings our outward anguish. It brings us face-to-face with the reality of our pain. While this may not be a desirable step--you may not want to take it--it is the necessary foundation upon which we can build trust, compassion and hope.

Jonathan (00:11:20): How should our lamenting work in this day and age? We don't typically show this deep and dramatic lamenting in the United States, as is described in the Old Testament. Should we, or are we too reserved?

Rick (00:11:33): Well, we might be too reserved. It's important to be able to have expression. How many times have we talked about on Christian Questions about grief and the importance of going through the steps and the process of grief? One of those is the pain and the suffering of it. To be able to express it actually can be very helpful. Now, we're not suggesting that people start tearing their clothes like they did in the Old Testament and all of those things, but what we're suggesting is that when the grief and the anguish is there, to feel it. Now there's an appropriate way to feel it, and we're going to expand that in the next segment, actually. But just to be able to feel it. Jonathan, I had an experience just three or four weeks ago with one of the dear brethren, a dear sister in Christ who just texted me and said, Hey, can we get on Zoom? Now this individual is going through a really hard loss that few knew about, and we had talked about this loss many, many, many times. What she asked me was, she said, "Can we get on Zoom?" Here's what she said. She said, "I need somebody to cry to." When I read those words, I was so touched with the sense of blessing that look, not that this individual is suffering, but that God gave me this opportunity to enter into her suffering with her, to just be part of the crying. Because sometimes you've just got to be a part of it. That's lamenting. That's good. That's healthy. It helps to get it out of our system. It really is an appropriate thing. We may not do it the way they did in the Old Testament, but there's a great, great appropriateness here. As we begin to understand what it means to lament, we can begin to understand the importance of giving our grief a voice.

Jonathan (00:13:38): Outside of the tragic events of personal loss, what other experiences in life can bring us to a point of heartfelt lamenting?

Rick (00:13:47): Well, there are many other circumstances. Our next approach will be to step outside of ourselves and focus on a much bigger picture. The bigger picture has everything to do with God's plans and purposes. As Christians, we realize that according to Scripture, there are troubles and challenges that must occur so the world can eventually see better days. In this next step, we looked at lamenting over personal loss, very personal loss. We're going to look at lamenting from a very different perspective and just see what lessons there are for us, and they are many. Jonathan, we next want to look at lamenting prophetic fulfillment.

Jonathan (00:14:32): What? That doesn't sound right!

Rick (00:14:34): Yeah, I know.

Jonathan (00:14:35): Prophetic fulfillment?

Rick (00:14:37): Yeah, I know. You think, wait, wait. Aren't we supposed to rejoice over prophetic fulfillment?

Jonathan (00:14:41): Yes.

Rick (00:14:42): Like God's prophecies come true! Yay! Well, there are times when lamenting over prophetic fulfillment is not only appropriate, but it's necessary. Let's look. We're going to look at the example of two Old Testament prophets, Jeremiah and Nehemiah. Now, Jeremiah lived at a different time than Nehemiah, and they both went through serious lamenting. We'll first consider Jeremiah. In chapter 1 of his prophecy, the Lord tells him that Israel will be judged for the grievous sins against Him. In chapter 9 of that prophecy of Jeremiah, Jeremiah describes his breaking heart. This is...Jonathan, when we discuss this scripture, it is heart-wrenching. Let's look at Jeremiah 9:1-3:

Jonathan (00:15:40): "Oh that my head were waters and my eyes a fountain of tears, that I might weep day and night for the slain of the daughter of my people! Oh that I had in the desert a wayfarers' lodging place; that I might leave my people and go from them! For all of them are adulterers, an assembly of treacherous men. They bend their tongue like their bow; lies and not truth prevail in the land; for they proceed from evil to evil, and they do not know Me, declares the LORD."

Rick (00:16:15): He is lamenting over the distance that Israel had gone from God. When he starts in verse 1, "Oh that my head were waters and my eyes were a fountain of tears," he's basically saying, if my head were only a lake, essentially, and my eyes were fountains, where tears could, day and night, pour out of me, pour out of me, pour out of me, pour out of me without stopping, because I am so heartbroken for what's happened to my people. They've gone so far from our God. They've become adulterers and liars. You could see that Jeremiah, it's just, he's broken on the inside, and he does a wonderful job of explaining his brokenness to us. As tragic as this picture is in Jeremiah chapter 9, Jeremiah's lamenting will go on in the poetic proclamations of the book called, well, of the book called what else? Lamentations. Jonathan, let's get a little bit of a sense of the book of Lamentations. Let's look at Adam Clark's Commentary on the Bible:

Jonathan (00:17:28): "The prophet begins with lamenting the dismal reverse of fortune that befell his country, confessing at the same time that her calamities were the just consequences of her sins." This is an interesting point: "In all copies of the Septuagint, whether of the Roman or Alexandrian editions, the following words are found as a part of the text: And it came to pass after Israel had been carried away captive, and Jerusalem was become desolate, that Jeremiah sat weeping: and he lamented with this lamentation over Jerusalem; and he said..."

Rick (00:18:08): Then it goes on to Lamentations 1:1. In the Septuagint, it adds these couple of lines of introduction saying, here is Jeremiah sitting, weeping, lamenting, and here's what he said. Jonathan, let's start with Lamentations 1:1 and then we'll go to verses 4-6:

Jonathan (00:18:29): "How lonely sits the city that was full of people! She has become like a widow who was once great among the nations! She who was a princess among the provinces has become a forced laborer!"

Rick (00:18:43): This "princess" has become lonely, become a "forced laborer," become "a widow." It's just dismal what's happened to this once beautiful place that he's likening to this princess. Let's go to verses 4-5:

Jonathan (00:19:01): "The roads of Zion are in mourning because no one comes to the appointed feasts. All her gates are desolate; her priests are groaning, her virgins are afflicted, and she herself is bitter. Her adversaries have become her masters, her enemies prosper; for the LORD has caused her grief because of the multitude of her transgressions; her little ones have gone away as captives before the adversary."

Rick (00:19:29): He's even saying that "the roads of Zion are in mourning" because they're desolated, they're empty, there's nothing of value left. You can see that Jeremiah is just pouring out his emotions over the transgressions of the people of Israel. Verse 6:

Jonathan (00:19:49): "All her majesty has departed from the daughter of Zion; her princes have become like deer that have found no pasture; and they have fled without strength before the pursuer." Well, Jeremiah was distraught over Jerusalem. It was helpless, and he was grief-stricken. Recently we talked about Jonah and Nineveh. Remember what happened in response to Jonah proclaiming God's judgment against the city? The people repented by fasting, and they put on sackcloth and sat in ashes and they all cried out to the Lord.

Rick (00:20:25): What a great example for the people of Israel here. The Ninevites were not even followers of God, and they still did that because they believed in the prophecy. You can see that this mourning is such an important thing. What is Jeremiah mourning? The fulfillment of prophecy. He knew it was coming, and he saw it happen. He did. He didn't say, "Oh, well gee, God said it, so woohoo!" He is looking at it, and he feels the grief and the anguish of the power of the leaving of God, the disloyalty. He feels it like so many prophets before him. He preached with great zeal, but to no avail. He then watched the desolation occur. As we can see, he is grieving mightily over that desolation.

Jonathan (00:21:21): Well, why the loss? Because God's words were being ignored by the people. Now think about it. Jeremiah could have been angry or hateful. He could have been like most people in bad circumstances, blaming God or being jealous of others that have it so good. But that is not what he did.

Rick (00:21:41): No, and that is a really, really important point. He is not looking at pointing fingers or backlash. He is just broken over the sinfulness of the people that God told him was going to happen. Jeremiah lamented over God's prophetic words being fulfilled before his very eyes. It's a great lesson, Jonathan, of being engaged in the work that you're supposed to be engaged in. These prophets didn't just speak words because God told me to say this, so I will say this, thus sayeth the Lord, this is what is going to happen to you. They lived the words that they spoke even when those words were so devastating. Now here's the thing, and here's where the lesson of lamenting comes into play in a very different way. First, we saw lamenting being important to help us face our reality. Now we're going to see that even in the throes of such deep lamenting, such deep lamentation, Jeremiah looked upward with great faith and hope. He had faith and hope. Let's go to Lamentations 3:20-24:

Jonathan (00:22:58): "Surely my soul remembers and is bowed down within me. This I recall to my mind, therefore, I have hope. The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. The LORD is my portion, says my soul, therefore I have hope in Him." In the middle of this massive lament over enormous tragedy, hope still lived in Jeremiah's heart? Now that is true faith in the Lord.

Rick (00:23:35): It is. It's true faith and it's being the prophet--not playing the part of--but being the prophet. I know this is the negativity that is about to occur, or it is occurring, or I watched it occur, whatever. But I also know, I also know the power and love and mercy and might of God, and I will stay with that and I will look for that because ultimately, that is what comes out. There's a tremendous lesson in being able to lament over a very negative prophetic fulfillment and look up. That's the key. That is why we're taught about lamenting in this way. Let's look at another example. Now let's look at Nehemiah. Nehemiah lived almost two centuries later after a period of Israel's captivity. He was a cupbearer to the Persian King Artaxerxes. We begin Nehemiah's story with the reason for his lamenting. Let's go to Nehemiah 1:1-3:

Jonathan (00:24:37): "...Now it happened...that one of my brothers, and some men from Judah came; and I asked them concerning the Jews who had escaped and had survived the captivity, and about Jerusalem. They said to me, The remnant there in the province who survived the captivity are in great distress and reproach, and the wall of Jerusalem is broken down and its gates are burned with fire." Well, what a sad and depressing report. What's Nehemiah's response? Well, let's go to verse 4: "When I heard these words, I sat down and wept and mourned for days; and I was fasting and praying before the God of heaven." Rick, Nehemiah is overwhelmed with grief by this report because the captivity had ended. There's no goodness or protection or hope. There's nothing.

Rick (00:25:31): What does he do? He goes into this deep mourning. But how does he do it? Just like you said, Jonathan, in the verse, "I was fasting and praying before the God of heaven." Folks, that is one of the big lessons here about our lamenting. Let us do it before the God of heaven like Jeremiah did, like Nehemiah is doing. The result of his lamenting was to pray. It was to look upward. This prayer recounted the just character of God and the grave sinfulness of His people. We're going to touch on some of the verses of the prayer. This is a profound prayer from Nehemiah. Nehemiah 1:5-7:

Jonathan (00:26:14): It impressed me, Rick, how many times Nehemiah said "You" or "Your" to God in these verses: "...I beseech You, O LORD God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who preserves the covenant and lovingkindness for those who love Him and keep His commandments, let Your ear now be attentive and Your eyes open to hear the prayer of Your servant which I am praying before You now, day and night, on behalf of the sons of Israel Your servants, confessing the sins of the sons of Israel which we have sinned against You; I and my father's house have sinned. We have acted very corruptly against You and have not kept the commandments, nor the statutes, nor the ordinances which You commanded Your servant Moses."

Rick (00:27:03): You're right. It's all about God. You, You, You, You, You are the great and awesome God. We have sinned against You. You notice he doesn't say, "My ancestors or those other ones have sinned." He says, "We have sinned against you. I and my father's house have sinned. We have acted...corruptly," we have done all of these things wrong. He is lamenting, but he's lamenting to God Himself. There's such power in that kind of lamenting. Let's see where it led Nehemiah. This prayer led to grasping hold of God's justice and mercy as it relates to obedience to Him. Now we're in that same prayer, Nehemiah 1:9-11:

Jonathan (00:27:47): "Remember the word which You commanded Moses saying, But if you return to Me and keep My commandments and do them, though those of you who have been scattered were in the most remote part of the heavens, I will gather them from there and will bring them to the place where I have chosen to cause My name to dwell. They are Your servants and Your people whom You redeemed by Your great power and by Your strong hand. Oh Lord, I beseech You, may Your ear be attentive to the prayer of Your servant and the prayer of Your servants who delight to revere Your name, and make Your servant successful today and grant him compassion before this man..." Now his lament brought him to prayerful action before he went to the king.

Rick (00:28:34): Yeah, he actually went to the king, and he went to the king prepared. When the king said to him, "Hey, you're looking kind of down," (and I'm doing a lot of paraphrasing right here) Nehemiah says, "Well, you know." King says, "What's the matter? I never see you like this." Nehemiah says, "Well, the walls of Jerusalem are in shambles." The king says, "Well, what can we do?" It's like, and I'm making this up obviously, but it's like Nehemiah pulls this 55-page document that he has written out and he says, "Well, now that you mention it, here are the things we need to rebuild the walls. Here's what we need to rebuild the gates. Here's how we're going to do it." You're right, it brought him to action to say to God, "We have sinned against You, but let Your servants try to do Your will." Nehemiah rallied the people to do something remarkable.

Jonathan (00:29:20): We have two examples of lamenting with faith and hope. First, in Jeremiah's case, there was no evidence in anything changing. In Nehemiah's case, he had the ability to institute change with God's blessing.

Rick (00:29:33): That is important because it doesn't always work in the Nehemiah fashion. Sometimes it works in the Jeremiah fashion. Either way, what are we supposed to do? Lament before God. Jonathan, our Lamenting Lessons Learned, where are we?

Jonathan (00:29:48): God's plan to navigate through this present evil world affords us many circumstances in which lamenting the sin and darkness around us is appropriate. We should feel its pain and suffering. Rick, where does lamenting bring us?

Rick (00:30:03): Lamenting brings us...first of all, it initially brought us face-to-face with hard reality. That is what it first did. Now it should always bring us to looking up to God in faith and hope. Look up to God in the midst of your anguish in faith and hope. We have these two marvelous prophets and many others do exactly that. What are they doing? They're teaching us how to focus our lamenting. It's not just about how I feel, but it's about to whom I express those feelings, looking up to God in faith and hope. The purpose of our crying out in grief and anguish is not only to face our reality, but to cause us to look up in prayer.

Jonathan (00:30:59): Facing reality and praying in faith and hope--that sounds like a pretty complete story. What else can lamenting teach us?

Rick (00:31:06): Oh, you have asked! Our next learning experience is focused on growth. Here we're going to look at the challenges of our own lives and the sometimes-tragic impacts they could have had on us. Such impact often brings lamenting. Aside from learning to look up in faith and hope, there are other enormous lessons that we can learn as well. Looking up in faith and hope sounds like "Okay, great finish!" No, it's actually a great start. It's actually a great framing for what is able to come next. Next we're going to look at lamenting personal sins and personal experiences. We lamented personal loss. We looked at lamenting prophecy being fulfilled. Now we're looking at lamenting, Jonathan, when you and I screw up badly, okay?

Jonathan (00:32:02): It happens too many times.

Rick (00:32:03): Yeah, we've had our share of those, haven't we?

Jonathan (00:32:06): Yes, we have.

Rick (00:32:06): Okay, so let's use a scriptural example. King David. King David lamented over the consequences of his own sins. After David's sin with Bathsheba, the prophet Nathan came to him and told him a story about a rich man's egotistical, unjust and merciless treatment of a poor man. Now he's telling this story to David to get David's attention because he knows David's not going to hear him immediately. David's response to this story was to proclaim a judgment from the king of fourfold restitution and then death to the rich man--after which Nathan turned the tables and proclaimed judgment against David. Here we have David having the opportunity to lament his own sins, forcibly put before him. 2 Samuel 12:7,9-10:

Jonathan (00:33:00): "Nathan then said to David, You are the man! Thus says the LORD God of Israel, It is I who anointed you king over Israel...Why have you despised the word of the LORD by doing evil in His sight? You have struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and have taken his wife to be your wife...Now therefore, the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised Me and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife." What would be a common response to being accused of a wrong? Most people would blame someone else or justify their actions. Well, what did David do?

Rick (00:33:42): Well, what David did is he was now disarmed. What Nathan had said to him was put before him in a way that because he was honest, because he was truly loyal to God at heart, he could not deny it. He knows that he's wrong. Here's what happens next in 2 Samuel 12:13-17:

Jonathan (00:34:05): "Then David said to Nathan, I have sinned against the LORD. And Nathan said to David, The LORD also has taken away your sin; you shall not die. However, because by this deed you have given occasion to the enemies of the LORD to blaspheme, the child also that is born to you shall surely die...Then the LORD struck the child that Uriah's widow bore to David so that he was very sick. David therefore inquired of God for the child; and David fasted and went and lay all night on the ground. The elders of his house stood beside him in order to raise him up from the ground, but he was unwilling and would not eat food with them."

Rick (00:34:49): David is engaged in this deep and powerful and sorrowful begging, lamenting before God. He is prostrate, he refuses to move. He's the king and he refuses to move because he is facing the depth of his own sinfulness and he's willing to just continue to face it and continue to face it. His fasting and praying, his lament was a sincere cry to God for mercy. Seven days later, the child died.

Jonathan (00:35:27): 2 Samuel 12:19-20: "But when David saw that his servants were whispering together...David said to his servants, Is the child dead? And they said, He is dead. So David arose from the ground, washed, anointed himself, and changed his clothes; and he came into the house of the LORD and worshiped. Then he came to his own house, and when he requested, they set food before him, and he ate." You can imagine David pleading with God, I have sinned. It's my fault, not the child's. Please don't take the child's life! Just a side note; it wasn't until after the baby was born that Nathan told David of his sin.

Rick (00:36:10): So, David is actually living with this sin for nine months.

Jonathan (00:36:15): That's right.

Rick (00:36:16): He is hiding from this sin for nine months. He is being taken apart from the inside out because he knows better. Because of this sin, for those nine months, he's going through this very long, difficult process and Nathan finally brings it to his attention. Thank God he brings it to his attention. David's lament. Here's the interesting thing--when it came to an end, what's the first thing he did? He gets up, he cleans up, he makes himself presentable to go to the Temple to worship because that is the most important thing, worship God. Then when he is gone before the Lord God, he's then able to say, Okay, I now need to get back to my life. Later, David was able to write about this experience. As we read excerpts from Psalms 51 (this is a psalm directly about this experience) let's take a note of what his terrible mistakes in lamenting before God taught him because he learned tremendous lessons here. Let's pay attention because here come the lessons of lamenting from our personal sins and personal experiences. Psalms 51:1-4:

Jonathan (00:37:29): "Be gracious to me, O God, according to Your lovingkindness; according to the greatness of Your compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against You, You only, I have sinned and done what is evil in Your sight, so that You are justified when You speak and blameless when You judge."

Rick (00:37:59): This psalm begins and David has learned to accept the depth of his sins and to put himself unreservedly into God's hands for His judgment and His mercy to wash over him. You notice he's looking for both. He's saying, Your judgment must be with me. Your mercy also will be with me. He is in his lament. He has put himself directly before God and basically said, see me, see what I have done. See where I am and let me see You again. That is really where he is, what he's experiencing in this really deep heartfelt brokenness. Where does it bring him? Psalms 51:10-14. Let's look:

Jonathan (00:38:50): "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence and do not take Your holy spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and sustain me with a willing spirit. Then I will teach transgressors Your ways and sinners will be converted to You. Deliver me from blood-guiltiness, O God, the God of my salvation; that my tongue will joyfully sing of your righteousness." David's deep lamenting brought him to write these psalms to be sung as tools for others to learn from and to glorify God.

Rick (00:39:32): His deepest, darkest private sin, he made public to become a teaching tool to honor God. His lamenting brought him there. It made him clean before God. David learned to rejoice in God's judgment and mercy and then be able to share that freedom with others. His experience showed him how to have compassion for and connect with others in their own overwhelming trials. Jonathan, we need to try as best as we can to learn from this kind of an experience. I remember, I don't remember the podcast, it was years and years and years ago. But we featured a story of a Christian man who was driving one evening with his wife and child, and they got t-boned by another car. It was a drunk driver hit on the passenger side and his wife and child were killed instantly. He tells his story, it was a drunk driver and it was a young man. He tells his story that he gets out of the car and he sees his dead wife and his dead child, and he said, and I suddenly heard this wailing and I realized it was me. I'm kneeling in the road with my hands up, and I am just wailing in my anguish at what had just happened. It was so unsought for, it was undeserved. You look at all of this, and he had that tremendous, tremendous, tremendous anguish. Several years later, this same man, he was a Christian man, befriended the young man who was the drunk driver and worked with him. Together they would go and they would tell their story to teach others, to teach young people about the dangers of being irresponsible and drinking and driving and all of that. This young man was able to trust in him because he took his anguish. He put it before God, and what came from it was a building-up experience for so many. That is the kind of lesson we're looking at here.

Jonathan (00:41:50): Wow, Rick that is being vulnerable.

Rick (00:41:52): Yeah.

Jonathan (00:41:54): Just like David was being vulnerable, willing to share, to help others. That is exactly what this Christian man did. The person that was drinking that shouldn't have been but was willing to admit it and try to prevent people from doing that, that is amazing. Well, let's switch gears. The Apostle Peter learned the same thing through his sins of denying the Lord Jesus. He had already denied the Lord twice, and now we read about the third time in Matthew 26:74-75: "Then he began to curse and swear, I do not know the man! And immediately a rooster crowed. And Peter remembered the word which Jesus had said, Before a rooster crows, you will deny me three times. And he went out and wept bitterly." The word "wept" means "to sob; that is, wail aloud." The word "bitterly" means "violently."

Rick (00:42:46): Peter denies the Lord. Now we know that Jesus told him before it happened, hey, stop talking so much, essentially, you're going to deny me three times. Peter basically responds, no, I will die with you. When the opportunity came to stand up, he ran. This wailing allowed, this violent wailing allowed is looking at himself and looking at the degradation of his own person. He denied Jesus and he couldn't get his own head around what he had just done.

Jonathan (00:43:26): It broke Peter's heart realizing he denied our Lord Jesus so abusively with his cursing. This devastated him and taught him how weak the flesh can be.

Rick (00:43:39): Let's move forward. After Jesus' resurrection, he asked Peter, "Do you love me?" You all remember the scene on the shore of the lake. He asked him, "Do you love me?" three times. Peter was only able to answer that question by saying he loved Jesus in a brotherly love kind of way. Well, much later in Peter's life, we see how he grew far beyond that moment, that point and was able to grow into living selfless love as well. We see that in the epistle of Peter, 1 Peter 1:22:

Jonathan (00:44:14): "Since you have in obedience to the truth purified your souls for a sincere love of the brethren (philadelphia love), fervently love (agape love) one another from the heart."

Rick (00:44:26): He is speaking from experience. It is important to love one another in a brotherly love sort of way, but you must grow into selfless love. Peter's lamenting helped him to learn how to understand the brokenness of humanity and to love others even though they may not deserve it. That is part of what we learn from lamenting, especially when we lament before God, is to have that compassion on those around us. It's such an important part of our lives. Jonathan, Lamenting Lessons Learned. Where are we now?

Jonathan (00:45:06): While lamenting over our own bad choices can be so deeply emotional, we need to understand that we are facing our broken reality by putting it into God's hands. Rick, where does lamenting bring us?

Rick (00:45:20): All right, so we put it into God's hands. It brings us to a place of preparation. Our lamenting prepares us to be sympathetically compassionate to others in their most difficult trials. Jonathan, the experience that I have when I make a drastic mistake is not just for me to learn from that mistake but is for me to be able to learn that I can be compassionate now to others because I've been through it. If I do the lamenting, looking in faith and hope to God, looking upward, looking to learn, not only can we be given peace again, but we can be given peace with now a measure of wisdom that says, "I know how you feel. I have felt the same way." That is one of the most important parts of learning what lamenting truly is all about. To lament our own failures can be scary as we would often rather not think about them. Let's not forget what we can learn by thinking about them and doing this.

Jonathan (00:46:27): Lamenting connects us with reality, helps us look up in faith and hope and teaches us deep compassion. What else?

Rick (00:46:36): Well, what we've seen thus far is that lamenting is an outward demonstration of the anguish of the brokenness in our world. It's so important to comprehend that God knows about this brokenness and His plan has long ago put in place the remedy for that brokenness. Our final look at lamenting has everything to do with seeing it in the larger context of God's overall plan. Now this is different than seeing it from the standpoint of lamenting prophecies being fulfilled that bring us to sorrow. There's something even bigger here. Before we get into this though, Jonathan, we want to just establish what we've been talking about. Lamenting is a healthy practice. We can enhance our fellowship by sharing in lamenting. Let's look at Romans 12:14-15:

Jonathan (00:47:31): "Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep." This is saying we should enter into the pain of others and feel their sorrow.

Rick (00:47:45): It's such an important thing to be able to enter into someone else's experience because when we do that, what we're trying to do is say, "Where are you? What are you going through? How can I feel that along with you? Maybe I can't sympathize, maybe I've never gone through it, but I can empathize. I can put my arm around you and say, I'm with you. I'm with you." By entering someone else's experience, we can feel their difficulty and it helps us to communicate and it helps them to be encouraged. We can show our heartfelt attachment to the brotherhood by lamenting. Another example here is Agabus. Now he was a Christian prophet in the Apostle Paul's day. He had just prophesied the Apostle Paul would be bound in Jerusalem and the brethren didn't want him to go. Let's look at Acts 21:12-14 because this is another example of lamenting:

Jonathan (00:48:43): "When we had heard this, we as well as the local residents began begging him not to go up to Jerusalem." Let's pause here. You can hear the brethren pleading, Paul, don't go, don't walk into this trap. We need you! Verse 13: "Then Paul answered, What are you doing, weeping and breaking my heart? For I am ready not only to be bound, but even to die at Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus. And since he would not be persuaded, we fell silent, remarking, The will of the Lord be done!" We must do what the Lord wants us to do. We should not doubt, even though it might be hard.

Rick (00:49:25): That is such an important thing. We shouldn't doubt even though it might be hard. The Apostle Paul in this scripture, I love the way he is. He expresses himself, "What are you doing, weeping" - mourning - "and breaking my heart?" This is hard for me, but I have to do what I have to do. When they all realized that he was so firm, they fell silent. Like, okay, let the Lord's will be done. Their lamenting showed him their love and their compassion and their fellowship with him. What a great example. That is why lamenting is so powerful and so helpful for us. Let's take a look now at lamenting, the last examples of lamenting - lamenting the sinfulness of sin. Not necessarily my sin or your sin, but sin in general. Now, before we get to this, Jonathan, one critical point as we begin this next view of lamenting is that lamenting should in no way be confused with complaining. Why? Scriptural lamenting is an important step in a larger process, while complaining is usually merely an outburst with no positive direction. Scriptural lamenting is bringing us somewhere. It's helping us to work through issues, to be able to stand more firmly, to honor and please God, to encourage others, to heal. It's encouraging all of those things. Let's look at another scriptural lament. Psalms 13:1-6:

Jonathan (00:50:55): "How long, O LORD? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart all the day? How long will my enemy be exalted over me? Consider and answer me, O LORD my God; enlighten my eyes or I will sleep the sleep of death, and my enemy will say, I have overcome him, and my adversaries will rejoice when I am shaken."

Rick (00:51:23): At this point, this is a lament and it's all like, "how long?" O Lord, how long? How long? How long? Look at this, look at that. Look at this. How long, how long? It is the frustration. You can see that the pouring out before God is so, so important because here's what verses 5-6 say:

Jonathan (00:51:43): "But I have trusted in Your lovingkindness; my heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, because He has dealt bountifully with me."

Rick (00:51:53): Now wait a minute, "He has dealt bountifully with me." He was just saying this is bad and this is bad and this is bad and this is bad and this is bad and this is bad. "He has dealt bountifully with me." Jonathan, it's putting God's greatness into perspective with our immediate issue. It's saying our immediate issue hurts, God. Here it is. Then it's saying, but I know you are so much bigger. Your providence is so much more far-seeing than my eyes can be. I know you have and will deal bountifully with me. It's seeing the goodness of God through the sinfulness of sin. Let's change gears. Let's go to the New Testament now. Jesus lamented over Israel; he lamented over Israel at the end of his ministry. He did it in several ways. His woes to the Pharisees were a form of lamenting as he cried out to them about the troubles they were bringing upon themselves. We did a podcast on this very recently where you listen to what he's saying to them and the intensity of, don't you see your error? It was hurting him to have to tell them. Well, he ends those woes in the following way. Matthew 23:37-39:

Jonathan (00:53:13): "Jerusalem, Jerusalem, who kills the prophets and stones those who were sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were unwilling. Behold, your house is being left to you desolate! For I say to you, from now on you will not see me until you say (and he quotes from Psalm 118:26), BLESSED IS HE WHO COMES IN THE NAME OF THE LORD." Well, this prophecy was a song that was sung for the celebration of the Passover processional. It was one of the last verses sung as the people entered the temple gates to worship the Lord. Originally it depicted Israel's exodus journey from Egypt to Mount Zion.

Rick (00:54:00): That is what it originally depicted. What Jesus is saying is, it's going to depict your journey to reconciliation to Mount Zion. That is what he's saying to them. "Blessed is he comes in the name of the Lord." He lamented over the loss, but he also put it into the context of the prophecies yet to be fulfilled. That is Jesus. That is how he did it. He lamented another time, after riding into Jerusalem. Now remember this was when he rode in and they accepted him as king and "Hosanna in the highest," blessed be the Lord and so forth. Once he rides into the city, once he gets near the city, he lamented over Jerusalem and all that was coming. We see this in Luke 19:39-42:

Jonathan (00:54:47): "Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to him, Teacher, rebuke your disciples. But Jesus answered, I tell you, if these become silent, the stones will cry out! When he approached Jerusalem, he saw the city and wept over it, saying, If you had known in this day, even you, the things which make for peace! But now they have been hidden from your eyes."

Rick (00:55:10): Now remember the word for "wept" here means "to wail aloud." There is another word for crying, which is done silently. This isn't Jesus just crying to himself. He is crying outwardly over the city. He is showing this is his moment of victory where everybody's saying, save us now, "Hosanna in the highest." He's weeping out loud saying to them, if you only knew what you're heading for because of the attitude of so many of you right here and right now. You can see Jesus lamenting over the losses. He felt them because that is what he came for. We see Jesus in these two examples lamenting. Let's go back to the story of Nehemiah, because we talked about his prayer before he got started with the work. Through God's grace and through Nehemiah's leadership, the walls of Jerusalem were rebuilt and order was restored to God's people. It came time to honor God for His providence and really the miracles He worked out for them in this very short period of time. All the people gathered and they're there to honor God, but they had a very strange reaction. Let's look at Nehemiah 8:9-10. Let's stop after verse 9:

Jonathan (00:56:34): "Then Nehemiah, who was the governor, and Ezra the priest and scribe, and the Levites who taught the people said to all the people, This day is holy to the LORD your God; do not mourn or weep. For all the people were weeping when they heard the words of the law." Let's pause. The people were weeping because they realized how far they had fallen away from God. Continuing in verse 10: "Then he said to them, Go, eat of the fat, drink of the sweet, and send portions to him who has nothing prepared; for this day is holy to our Lord. Do not be grieved, for the joy of the LORD is your strength."

Rick (00:57:13): They're weeping, their lamenting over their past sins and Nehemiah's words to them were, not now. You are now in a position of blessedness. You have done the work and God has blessed you. Don't weep now but praise Him. Honor Him. For those who don't have something, take what we've got here and give it to them. Be generous. Be kind. Be loving. Be loyal to your heavenly God who has delivered Israel, rebuilt the walls, rebuilt the gates, and given them security once again. We can see the experience of Israel here as a picture of God's coming kingdom because what had been broken down would be repaired so the people could have God's blessing and protection. But the blessing and protection doesn't come without the difficulty first. Such repairing will come through reconciliation, which will have its fair share of lamenting. We always talk about the day of reconciliation. Jonathan, it is a day, a glorious day, but there will be lamenting to get to that glorious day. We see this in Revelation 1:5-7:

Jonathan (00:58:24): "...and from Jesus Christ, the faithful witness, the firstborn of the dead, and the ruler of the kings of the earth. To him who loves us and released us from our sins by his blood--and he has made us to be a kingdom, priests to his God and Father--to him be the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. BEHOLD, HE IS COMING WITH THE CLOUDS, and every eye will see him, even those who pierced him; and all the tribes of the earth will mourn over him. So it is to be. Amen." The word "mourn" literally means "to chop; specifically, to beat the breast in grief."

Rick (00:59:04): What you see in this Revelation picture is the response of the people when they realize how they trampled the goodness of the sacrifice of Jesus. Not just the Jews alone who were responsible for his crucifixion, but the world's people trampling the goodness, trampling the principles of righteousness. It says, "to beat the breast in grief." It is such a powerful reaction to say, we did that. Can you believe we were that far off? That is necessary. That is one of the necessary things that can bring us to actual righteousness because it's laying reality before us so we can take the next step. We have to look up in faith and hope. We have to realize that we can identify with others and then we have to give God the glory. That is the whole thing here. Our bottom line as Christians is this--we have Jesus and he absolutely understands all that we may lament about. Our final scripture--Hebrews 4:15-16:

Jonathan (01:00:10): "For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore, let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

Rick (01:00:28): We have somebody, Jesus, the faithful, who understands trial and temptation and difficulty and having to set your face like a flint and having to move forward. He knows. He knows what lamenting is. He knows what grief is. He knows how to overcome those things and we can rely on him. Because we can rely on him, we can go boldly to the throne of grace with that lamenting. We can bring it right before God and lay it before His wisdom, His power, His might into His hands so His providence can carry us forward. Jonathan, finally, Lamenting Lessons Learned. Let's wrap it up.

Jonathan (01:01:13): The Bible teaches us that lamenting is an important tool to help us face reality while reaching up to God in faith and hope. It also teaches us to have compassion for others' experiences. Rick, where does lamenting bring us?

Rick (01:01:28): Its ultimate purpose is to show us how to raise our focus from the tragedies of our sinful world experiences up toward the glorious future that God so plainly promised in scripture. Lamenting brings us face-to-face with reality. It helps us to put things before God so we can look up in faith and hope. It gives us the ability to identify with others around us, to identify with those who have gone through things to say, I know how you feel. Then finally it gives us the capacity to put everything in God's hands and let His providence unfold not necessarily right now, but forever. Put it to Him. Lamenting brings us to loyalty to God if we allow it to do so. Think about it. Folks, we love hearing from our listeners. We welcome your feedback and questions on this episode and other episodes at ChristianQuestions.com. Coming up in our next episode, "If Jesus' Resurrection Saved the World, Why is the World Such a Mess?" Well, we'll talk about that next week.

Final Notes (01:02:42): copyright @2024 Christian Questions. In addition to this transcript, we provide comprehensive CQ Rewind Show Notes for every episode. They include every scripture quoted during the podcast, as well as graphics, illustrations and bonus material. Click the "CQ Rewind Show Notes" button near the audio player or sign up to receive these weekly at ChristianQuestions.com. This transcript was created using artificial intelligence. While we believe it to be accurate, we apologize for any errors that may exist.