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Announcer (00:00:00): It is time to think about the Bible like you never have before. This is Christian Questions. Experience more episodes, videos, and Bible study resources at ChristianQuestions.com. Today's topic is, "How Can I Transform My Prayer Life? (Part II)." Prayer is powerful. It can guide us to life-changing decisions, help us cope with our hardest experiences and provide us daily peace and direction. How is it that such an awesome tool is so misunderstood? What are the secrets, the little things we need to know that can transform our prayer lives? Here's Rick, Jonathan and Julie. Welcome everyone. I'm Rick. I'm joined by Jonathan, my co-host for over 25 years, and Julie, a longtime contributor is also with us. Jonathan, what's our theme scripture for this episode?

Jonathan (00:00:50): Jeremiah 10:23: "I know, O LORD, that a man's way is not in himself, nor is it in a man who walks to direct his steps."

Rick (00:01:00): In our last episode, we talked about many big picture aspects of how the humbling and amazing privilege of prayer works. We learned that, as is usually the case with true Christian discipleship, there is much more to praying than talking to God about things and kind of letting Him know what we need and what we want. Today we'll focus on the details of our prayer life. We'll look at many of those simple questions about the practicality of prayer. Questions like, how do we fit prayer into busy lives? How do we pray when we're not feeling grateful for anything? How do we know if God is answering our prayers or if we're just making up the answers? Before we get started with these practical questions, let's just take a quick review of what we talked about in Part I of the series.

Julie (00:01:47): Transforming our prayer life requires us to have several biblical and fundamental truths in order regarding prayer. In Part I, we discuss several principles of proper prayer.

Jonathan (00:01:58): Let's look at the first principle we talked about last week. We must check ourselves against scriptural principles to see if we're working at being in line for God's direction.

Rick (00:02:09): Just because we pray doesn't mean God is like, "Oh, look, Rick's praying." Am I in line with the principles that are necessary so that that prayer can actually be heard by the Almighty Father?

Julie (00:02:24): We next talked about how our prayers of petition must be offered in such a way as to seek and accept God's will, even if it's the opposite of what we asked for. How do we respond when God says no?

Jonathan (00:02:35): Another principle of proper prayer we discussed was let's be sure that our prayers, as sincere as they may be, are not diverting us from necessary actions or providing a covering for neglecting unrepented sins.

Julie (00:02:50): Finally, before going to God in prayer, it's an undeserved privilege, we know, and therefore it should be approached with reverence and awe as we ask for help and guidance.

Rick (00:03:00): We looked at these last week, and now what we want to do is go further. So, let's begin to ask those important and practical "how and why" questions about praying with another fundamental. Jonathan?

Jonathan (00:03:15): Principles of Proper Prayer: Learn to transform how we sometimes pray into how we ought to pray. We have habits that aren't the best for effective prayer.

Rick (00:03:25): We do, we all do, and let's just face the fact that we all do. We want to have that transformed prayer life. What does it look like? Well, a transformed prayer life is a mature prayer life, and this maturity doesn't just magically happen. It comes through thought, study, application and development. We have to grow up into that mature prayer life. Let's examine several aspects of everyday prayer and see where we can work on this growing-up process. Julie, what's first?

Julie (00:03:57): Sometimes we pray based on fanciful or wishful thinking, but what are we allowed to pray for? Because it seems like two people pray for the same thing; one request randomly comes true and the other doesn't. There's no apparent rhyme or reason, for example, as to whose house stands after a natural disaster. We know God isn't some sort of magic genie granting our heart's desires, so which of those desires are appropriate to ask for? We look at James 4:1-3: "What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members? You lust and do not have; so you commit murder. You are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures." In other words, you don't have because you don't ask. But when you do ask, it wasn't the right question. So, it's a little confusing. What's too petty to bother God with? There must be millions of prayers a day going up for God to "Let me win the lottery, so I can do really good things with the money." What's wrong with a prayer like that?

Rick (00:05:04): How about instead of that prayer, we say, "Dear Father, let me not win the lottery so I can do good things with all that You've already given me." It's all about perspective. God simply will not hear prayers that are just focused on us. When we do that, as we will see, we're going down the wrong road, and we want to put this all in order. Jonathan, let's look at the other side of this.

Jonathan (00:05:31): Well, instead of wishful thinking, let's work on learning to pray in faith. James 5:15-16: "...and the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up, and if he has committed sins, they will be forgiven him. Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much." Confessing our sins to others is being vulnerable. This can be scary and difficult in a group of people. There's always a danger in having the mistakes you share in confidence turn into gossip or judgment. Wolves in sheep's clothing can also take advantage of your weaknesses. We have to be surrounded by those we trust, who live their lives with appropriateness and godliness when we are requesting prayers on our behalf. If you're not in the right company, find yourselves a proper spiritual environment.

Rick (00:06:30): The point was, instead of praying wishfully, pray in faith. If we're in the wrong environment and we have that feeling that it's kind of loose, that's praying wishfully if you're going to be sharing all of those things that you just talked about. To pray in faith is to put things in its appropriate perspective. Again, this is about maturity. Folks, prayer should come to us regularly. We're not saying that every thought that begins a prayer is going to be absolutely mature and right there, but every prayer, we want to go in that direction, in the direction of real true faith and not just some kind of wishful thinking. That's a basis, that's a principle that we're going to be building on as we go through the rest of our questions. Julie, we've got this idea of praying in faith instead of wishful thinking. What's next?

Julie (00:07:20): I've got another big question. Sometimes as we pray and look for God's leadings, thoughts pop into our heads. How do we know which thoughts are our own and which thoughts are God's? These random thoughts, they seem sensible. Is that God speaking to me? Is He answering prayer? If I follow those thoughts, am I doing God's will?

Rick (00:07:38): That's a really good question. That's a really good question. The following scripture we're going to use is not about prayer, but it illustrates the process of the human mind. Once we go through this scripture and the counterpart, we're going to put all of this together. Julie, let's go to Luke 12:16-21.

Julie (00:07:57): Jesus here is telling a profound parable about a rich man. He sees where he is in life, and he decides exactly how it's going to be. He wants to big build bigger barns to hold all of his crops. Seems like a reasonable thing to do. We'll start with verse 18: "Then he said, this is what I will do: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I will say to my soul, Soul, you have many goods laid up for many years to come; take your ease, eat, drink, and be merry. But God said to him, you fool! This very night your soul is required of you; and now who will own what you have prepared? So is the man who stores up treasure for himself and is not rich toward God."

Jonathan (00:08:43): Instead of trusting the thoughts in our head, we need to pause and consider if these thoughts are in line with God's word, holy principles, and our living in selfless discipleship. We need to focus on asking in humility, and not telling God what we want His answer to be. Luke 12:29-31: "And do not seek what you will eat and what you will drink, and do not keep worrying. For all these things the nations of the world eagerly seek; but your Father knows that you need these things. But seek His kingdom, and these things will be added to you."

Rick (00:09:20): In our prayer process, lots of thoughts come into our heads and lots of potential answers come into our heads. The principle we want to really focus on here at this point is, okay, whatever is coming into my head, is it based on God's word, His holy principles, and living selflessly as a disciple? Those are really good gateways for our thought process to be going through before we go and consider it further. Let's go a little further with this. We need to question and re-question, and I might add, re-question our own potential willfulness and stubbornness if we are actually seeking God's answers and not our own desires. We are willful people. That's human nature in a sinful state. Question it, when you're seeking God's will. Psalms 32:8-10:

Jonathan (00:10:16): "I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you. Do not be as the horse or as the mule which have no understanding, whose trappings include bit and bridle to hold them in check, otherwise they will not come near to you. Many are the sorrows of the wicked, but he who trusts in the LORD, lovingkindness shall surround him."

Rick (00:10:40): When you think about a scripture like that that says, okay, God says, "I'll teach you in the way you should go. Don't be like a horse or a mule who needs to have a bit in its mouth and a bridle so it can be pushed and pulled in the direction it's supposed to go." We need to understand that when we want God's answers to our prayers and we want them to be what we want them to be, we are looking at personal preference versus God's providence. I ask you, just as a plain and simple question, in the big scheme of things, do you want your personal preference to be the answer, or do you want God's eternal providence? Take your time. Just take your time on that.

Jonathan (00:11:24): Ooh, ooh, I got it. God's providence!

Rick (00:11:26): I'll bet you got it. This is so important because we can fabricate an answer inside of our own mind, inside of our own thoughts, inside of our heart that feels right. But if it's not based in godly principle, in selflessness, in God's holy word, then how can it be right in God's eyes? See, it's not my eyes. It's God's eyes that count here. When we think that we've got answers to prayer, the first question we have to ask ourselves is, is my answer in accordance with God's will? I will tell you, personal experience along these lines, in my experiences in working with having great, great, great, great privileges, working with many individuals, with all kinds of challenges in life, one of the biggest things I fear in those experiences is me. I am afraid to get in the way. I'm afraid of my words instead of the Lord's words working through me. For me, it is a labor, an absolute labor to make sure that I am responding, not reacting on a scriptural basis, on a spiritual basis, on a brotherhood basis, on a lifting-someone-up basis and not, "I should tell you a thing or two." It's such a trial to make sure. You want to keep it in its proper order. Jonathan, let's put this in perspective for this first segment. Practicing the Principles of Proper Prayer:

Jonathan (00:13:06): True and sincere prayer is an act of faith and not a tool for getting what we feel like we want. When we interpret the perceived answer we receive to our prayers of faith, we need to ask, are they scriptural, God-honoring, self-sacrificing and in line with serving and loving others, especially the brotherhood? Do they bring us to higher spirituality? If not, then we need to ask, who am I hearing?

Rick (00:13:36): Am I hearing me because it's really convenient to get what I want because I'm answering, or am I hearing my heavenly Father's providence unfold in a very scripturally sound, spiritually mature way? These are really important questions. We're just getting started and already we can see how easy it can be to customize our prayer life to be self-serving instead of God-honoring.

Jonathan (00:14:07): Does how we present ourselves in prayer matter? How about the role our feelings play? How should we pray regarding our future?

Rick (00:14:18): When looking to transform our prayer lives, we need to accept that everything matters, and no aspect of our prayers should be taken lightly. We need to continually remind ourselves that when we go to God through Jesus, we are not telling Him anything that He doesn't already know, but we are presenting ourselves before the God of all. When we go to Him through Christ, He already knows. We need to understand that as we go through these practicalities of our prayer life. Julie, what's our next potential challenge?

Julie (00:14:57): When we learn to pray as a child, we learn maybe formulaic phrases that are helpful to teach us a pattern, but at some point, these might keep us from building an actual relationship with God. Here's the point. Sometimes we pray making sure we hit all the right words or phrases that might make us look humble. To those hearing us, we openly acknowledge righteousness and these appropriate desires. It's a little like putting on a mask. Jonathan, could you please read Luke 18:9-12 as an example:

Jonathan (00:15:28): "And he also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and viewed others with contempt: Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other tax collector. The Pharisee stood and was praying this to himself: God, I thank you that I'm not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get."

Julie (00:15:58): Euw, a tax collector! The Pharisee was basically using a checklist. I pay my tithes, check; I fast, check; I am richly working hard at fulfilling what You, God, have me to do, check. This Pharisee believed in his own presentation of evidence, but his heart was wrong. We can modernize this idea, especially in the world of social media where it's reinforced that we have to look and act a certain way. Perception is everything, but it has nothing to do with what's in our hearts, and it has nothing to do with a godly transformation. But it sure does look good.

Jonathan (00:16:32): Instead of wearing a mask, pray in sincere and genuine humility as we cling to righteousness and godliness. Luke 18:13-14: "But the tax collector, standing some distance away, was even unwilling to lift up his eyes to heaven, but was beating his breast, saying, God, be merciful to me, the sinner!" Here's how Jesus responded: "I tell you, this man went to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted." This is the opposite of looking good. The tax collector was all about being honest and vulnerable before God. That's why his prayer was acceptable.

Rick (00:17:20): Right. On one hand, you had the, like Julie said, you're looking for the right words and the right presentation. "I thank you, God, for my maturity" versus "I'm not worthy." Understand, folks, the best of us, at our highest spirituality in our lives, we are still not worthy. We still have zero, absolutely zero worthiness before our heavenly Father. It's because of Christ. We wear that robe of Christ's righteousness; we go to God through Christ. That's what brings us our worthiness. Christian maturity is not an exercise in comparison. It's not about the appropriateness of this, that, or the other thing. It's about growing into the appropriate lifestyle, the appropriate actions, the appropriate thoughts, the appropriate heart. That's what it comes down to. Julie, what's our next potential challenge?

Julie (00:18:16): Sometimes we pray based on passing thoughts or feelings. They impulsively make us want something that isn't too well-thought-out. Ecclesiastes 5:1-2 says, "Guard your steps as you go to the house of God and draw near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools; for they do not know they are doing evil. Do not be hasty in word or impulsive in thought to bring up a matter in the presence of God..." The question for us is, am I giving the everyday meanderings of my mind spiritual importance beyond what's appropriate? Our minds are very active and most times it'll bring us to the wrong direction or the wrong conclusion if left unchecked. Does the admonition not to be impulsive, though, conflict with how we're supposed to be instant or constant in prayer? There's a lot to think about when we think about thinking, and we then translate that to prayers before the Almighty.

Jonathan (00:19:11): While this may be a good way to begin prayer, let's instead work towards praying with diligent focus and attention, knowing that God can and will work in our lives. Ecclesiastes 5:2: "...for God is in heaven and you are on earth; therefore, let your words be few."

Rick (00:19:32): Julie, you brought up the idea of well, maybe we shouldn't be praying with so many words because our minds are active and wandering and all of that. No, no, no, that's a really good way to get into prayer. We're not saying don't do that, but what we are saying is according to Scripture, let that bring you to a place of pausing and considering and slowing down so the racing of your own humanity can begin to give space to the listening to God's perspective. Prayer is not just about talking. It's about putting things before the Lord and a "selah" moment, a pause and consider. That helps us to put it in order. We don't want that incredible raciness of our own minds, it's just going, going, going, going, going. We don't want that to be in the way of prayer. If that's how you start, wonderful. But see if we can guide it to something higher. Let's observe and learn from the humble petitioning of one of God's really, really faithful servants of the Old Testament, Daniel. Daniel was in Babylon for years and prayed for the return of Israel to their home. This is just one small piece of many prayers that he offered. This is Daniel 9:17-19:

Jonathan (00:20:55): "So now, our God, listen to the prayer of Your servant and to his supplications, and for Your sake, O Lord, let Your face shine on Your desolate sanctuary. O my God, incline Your ear and hear! Open Your eyes and see our desolations and the city which is called by Your name; for we are not presenting our supplications before You on account of any merits of our own, but on account of Your great compassion. O Lord, hear! O Lord, forgive! O Lord, listen and take action! For Your sake, O my God, do not delay, because Your city and Your people are called by Your name." Rick, Daniel says "Your" twelve times. Why so many?

Rick (00:21:45): Because it's about the will of God. It's about honoring God. It's about looking to the heavenly Father, and that's exactly the point. Daniel had these big thoughts about restoring Israel to their land and they were big, and he knew that prophecy said that was going to happen. He knew their captivity would end, and his prayer reflected his obedience to God's will and his reverence for God's honor. His prayers had focus and purpose. There was something big on his mind and he's saying, "Don't hesitate, don't hesitate." He knew it was going to be a long time, and yet he's telling God, "Don't hesitate. Don't hesitate." How does that fit together? Here's the thing; fervent prayer like this, like Daniel, when we know a situation is a long-term issue, that's an expression of true reverence because you're putting your heart before God and laying it out how you want it to be solved today, knowing full well it won't be. But you're saying, Lord, just don't hesitate because Your will is so important to me. That's reverence. Again, the racing of our own mind can race into a reverent behavior. That's what Daniel is showing us by taking it, focusing it on His will, His way and His providence. It's a beautiful way to transition what could have been just a lot of meanderings, a lot of thinking, and a lot of answering of our own prayers to really paying attention to what the heavenly Father would guide us towards. Big lessons here. Julie, what's next?

Julie (00:23:21): Here's a big one. Sometimes we pray to inform God of our ideas and our direction in life, wanting His stamp of approval on what we've already come up with as the perfect plan. Setting goals and planning certainly are good things, and we share such things with all of our close relationships, like hopefully the heavenly Father. But maybe we become too set in how we think things have to go, and we fall apart when it's different. Now we're going to read James 4:13-14. This isn't a prayer per se, but it shows a principle for the way humanity thinks: "Come now, you who say, Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit. Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away."

Jonathan (00:24:11): Instead of telling God what we're going to do, let's work on praying to place these things before Him and to ask for His direction. James 4:15-17: "Instead, you ought to say, If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that. But as it is, you boast in your arrogance; all such boasting is evil. Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin."

Rick (00:24:42): We can have what we think is just a really wonderful idea, and maybe it is and maybe it is God's will. We can present it to the Lord like, "This is the answer. Look at this!" and be very excited about it. We are encouraging to be excited about it. However, let us make sure that we are seeking not God's stamp of approval but His will instead, just in case by some strange reason our, like Julie said, our "perfect plan" isn't. It may be a perfect human plan, but is it a perfect plan in God's providence?

Jonathan (00:25:25): Let's look to Jesus as our example in Luke 22:42. He was praying to have this cup removed from him in the garden before he was captured. "This cup" meant the shame of being accused as an enemy of God. But what was his response? "Father, yet not my will but Yours be done." We need to be asking, waiting, and seeking for God's will.

Rick (00:25:50): Asking, waiting, and seeking. Again, it's good to bring the idea. As a matter of fact, you're supposed to bring the idea and say, "Lord, this makes great sense to me." Then we want to, like you said, wait; we seek and we wait. We put things in order. What does that take? It takes the same word that we use on every single podcast we ever, ever, ever have had. Likely we've talked about humility, okay? It never goes away. We need humility in determining our future course because it is this critical aspect of our prayer life. Great way to understand humility is to look at Isaiah 55:8-11as a comparison of us versus God:

Jonathan (00:26:39): "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts. For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return there without watering the earth and making it bear and sprout, and furnishing seed to the sower and bread to the eater; so will My word be which goes forth from My mouth; it will not return to Me empty, without accomplishing what I desire, and without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it."

Rick (00:27:13): If you want to do the comparison thing, let's look at that last verse. Can I say this about my word? Will Rick's word go forth out of his mouth and it will accomplish what he desires? Eh. You just can't say that, you can't believe that, you can't think that. We can have wonderful ideas. We present them before the heavenly Father because His mind is so, so infinitely much greater than ours. Let's put that all in its appropriate perspective. That helps us to, instead of informing God of our ideas, work on putting things before Him and looking for His providence; and His providence can be exactly in line, it can be partially in line, it could be exactly opposed. Whatever the answer is, our response should be, "Okay." Julie, go ahead.

Julie (00:28:10): What about our friend and CQ contributor Joanna? She said recently, "Pray for me to see what the Lord wants me to do." I thought that was a beautiful prayer.

Rick (00:28:21): What that is saying is, "I'm looking. I don't have an answer. I'm looking, I'm looking to see what He wants me to see, not what I would rather see." That's all part of putting this in order. Jonathan, Practicing the Principles of Proper Prayer; what do we have?

Jonathan (00:28:41): Praying requires introspection. How am I presenting myself before God, and why am I doing it that way? Am I basing my prayer on mere thoughts and feelings or am I really trying to communicate? Am I telling God where I'm going or asking for His direction? Let us pay attention and thereby give honor where honor is due.

Rick (00:29:06): Praying is not about saying, praying is also about hearing. It's about putting things in perspective and having that open ear for, like you said, Jonathan, about Jesus. "Nevertheless, not my will, but Your will be done." Prayer, even when we're offering it as we manage our daily lives, is always a time for reverence and godly perspective.

Jonathan (00:29:33): How do we handle prayer when we just don't feel grateful for anything? What about those times when we are afraid as we pray?

Rick (00:29:42): Alright, now we're beginning to focus on some of the deeper practical questions concerning prayer. As with every other question and concern about this privilege of communicating with our heavenly Father, we need to find sound scriptural principles and clear behavioral guidelines to help us through these challenges. This is now getting into some of the deeper, more difficult aspects of transforming our prayer lives. Julie, what's next?

Julie (00:30:16): There may be times in our life where we are so thrown off course that we can't even find God. These are dark, dark periods. Sometimes we pray and I'll say, "try" to pray, when we don't have any idea what there is to even be thankful for, and we go through the motions if we even do that much. David certainly knew what I'm talking about here. His sad prayer in Psalms 13:1-4, he said, "How long, O LORD? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart all the day? How long will my enemy be exalted over me? Consider and answer me, O LORD my God; enlighten my eyes, or I will sleep the sleep of death, and my enemy will say, I have overcome him, and my adversaries will rejoice when I am shaken."

Jonathan (00:31:07): Good! Keep praying and work towards focusing on gratitude, deep, sincere thankfulness, knowing God has our lives and experiences in His hands.

Rick (00:31:18): So you're saying good, you're praying even when you don't have anything to be thankful for. It's like good! Just focus it. Just move it forward. Just move it higher. Here's the thing; feelings cannot direct our faith unless we let them. Let me give you a clue; when we let our feelings direct our faith, the end result is never greater faithfulness. Faith produces trust and trust brings gratitude. Let's go a little bit further in Psalm 13, Jonathan, let's go Psalms 13:5-6:

Jonathan (00:31:51): "But I have trusted in Your lovingkindness; my heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, because He has dealt bountifully with me." The word "trust" really jumped out at me. I trust God's way so much more than mine. God's way is best, and that's that. When we're unsure and we're desperate, let Him know, and wait for His renewing strength.

Julie (00:32:17): It's unbelievable to me that the scripture part that I read, Psalms 13:1-4, it's so bad, and yet right there, 5-6, that Jonathan read, but his heart rejoiced in salvation. He's going to sing to the Lord. That's what you're talking about.

Rick (00:32:31): Exactly. When we feel like there's nothing there to be grateful for, David gives us this example of just laying it before God, and he says, look, "I'm going to sleep the sleep of death." That's how difficult and dark this is. These next verses, "I've trusted in your lovingkindness," he knows there's something bigger, something higher, something stronger. Even though he can't get his arms around it, that's what he's holding onto. He knows that that's what faith does. Look, feeling down-and-out does not mean that our prayers must follow suit. On the contrary, we're challenged to do the exact opposite by framing our prayers to our Father, to Abba Father. Let's look at a New Testament rendering of this. Romans 8:12-16:

Julie (00:33:23): "Therefore, dear brothers and sisters, you have no obligation to do what your sinful nature urges you to do. For if you live by its dictates, you will die. But if through the power of the spirit you put to death the deeds of your sinful nature, you will live. For all who are led by the spirit of God are children of God. So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God's spirit when He adopted you as His own children. Now we call Him, Abba, Father. For His spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God's children."

Rick (00:33:59): This is a really powerful part of transforming our prayer lives. It's understanding the Father-child relationship. It's saying that God's spirit makes us adopted children. In God's eyes, an adopted child is exactly like a blood child. There is no difference between them. That's why it says, "Now we call him Abba, Father. Abba, Daddy. There is that connection, that intrinsic trust to Daddy-Father prayer. Our prayers need to be focused in on that kind of trust. When we don't feel like we have anything to be thankful for, we know Daddy-Father is there. Prayer can be a time when the decision for gratitude to replace sad and aimless feelings can be made. Prayer is not just a time to pour your heart out. It can be a time of decision making to say, okay, "I feel this way or I feel that way. However, here's what I know. Father, help me hold onto what I know rather than what I feel." Let me give you a clue on that. You are going to have to say that a hundred times or more because it's hard to make the transference. But if you continue to pray in such a way, just look at the Psalm 13 that we just read. You can see how David learned how to do that. Even though his feelings weren't with him, he knew and his faith lifted him above his own feelings. Important points here. Julie, what's next?

Julie (00:35:36): This is a biggie. Sometimes we pray and we hold back those things we don't want God to hear. In psychology, that's called "cognitive dissonance," meaning "the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change." In other words, we say one thing, we do another. We can pray beautifully and reverently about a whole lot of things and still have that sin we put into this tiny little box disguised to look like something else buried deep, deep inside our heart where God will never see or maybe He won't even think to look. Psalm 66:18 said, "If I regard wickedness in my heart, the Lord will not hear..."

Jonathan (00:36:21): Instead of hiding things, let's work on praying with the assurance that He knows our hearts and minds already. Psalms 66:19-20: "But certainly God has heard; He has given heed to the voice of my prayer. Blessed be God, Who has not turned away my prayer nor His lovingkindness from me."

Rick (00:36:42): Folks, I don't know if you're following along and realizing that the first part of the scripture we're reading shows the issue, and the second part of that very next verse shows the solution. It puts it in order, working on praying with the assurance that He knows our hearts and minds already. This is what we're saying, this is what David is teaching us. And he would know; he was a man after God's own heart, and he committed a lot of sins. He had a lot of troubles in his life, but he never lost sight of his holy Father. He's showing us all of the things that he did to keep his own mind in gear in terms of putting things before the Father. Even when you think you can hide it in somewhere deep, you can't. We all know that intellectually, but we need to accept that within our hearts. Prayer, even when we have no words, can be exactly what we need. Next scripture in Romans, again, we read from Romans 8:12-16 a few moments ago. We're going to go Romans 8:26-28:

Jonathan (00:37:49): "And the holy spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don't know what God wants us to pray for. But the holy spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the spirit is saying, for the spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God's own will. And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them."

Rick (00:38:19): Our complete confession to our Father can bring us complete assurance of His providence. Complete confession can bring complete assurance. Sometimes we don't know how to say it, we don't have eloquence. We are just raw before the Father with whatever these very difficult things are that we are holding back. Here's the thing, here's the beauty of this. Think about it. If you try to present such a thing with eloquence, what do you do? You rehearse it. So eloquence comes from a rehearsal; groaning comes from your heart. Which one do you think God wants to hear? Does He want to hear the rehearsed prayer that sounds good or the one that expresses the pain and the suffering?

Jonathan (00:39:10): He wants to hear the heart.

Rick (00:39:12): He does, He does. That's why God's spirit helps us, because it puts us before Him truly, before that "throne of grace." What an amazing privilege. Don't hold back. Work on the assurance that He knows our hearts and minds and is willing to help us and work with us. Julie, you keep saying, "Oh, this is a big one." How about the next one?

Julie (00:39:36): Okay. Sometimes we pray with a measure of fear because of our reverence for God. We've got an example in Habakkuk. The prophet Habakkuk, he really let God have it in the first chapter of his book. In Habakkuk 1:2-3, he said things like, "How long, O LORD, must I cry for help? But you do not listen! Violence is everywhere! I cry, but You do not come to save. Must I forever see these evil deeds? Why must I watch all this misery? Wherever I look, I see destruction and violence...". God politely sets him straight, but Habakkuk complains again. He says, "...Will you wink at their treachery? Should You be silent while the wicked swallow up people more righteous than they?... Will you let them get away with this forever?" He goes on and on. Finally in chapter 2 in Habakkuk 2:1, he says, "I will stand on my guard post and station myself on the rampart; and I will keep watch to see what He will speak to me, and how I may reply when I am reproved." "Reproved" means "reprimanded; a sharp disapproval or criticism." So he kind of went and he knew, okay, all right, I'm going to sit quietly and wait for it.

Jonathan (00:40:46): If we are fearful out of reverence for God, good! Work on remembering that in His loftiness, He has made Himself accessible to us through Christ. Habakkuk 2:2-3: "Then the LORD answered me and said, Record the vision and inscribe it on tablets, that the one who reads may run. For the vision is yet for the appointed time; it hastens toward the goal and it will not fail. Though it tarries, wait for it; for it will certainly come, it will not delay."

Rick (00:41:17): Sometimes we hold back because we have this fear. Habakkuk was a great example. "Okay, I'm going to march right up." Because I liked the way you described it, Julie, he let God have it. You know what, folks, it's okay to pray with that kind of passion because that is pouring out your heart. Habakkuk was clear. He was pouring out all of the things that were frustrating him and the answers he didn't have and God's response; Habakkuk says, before God responds, "Okay, I know I'm going to be reproved and I'm going to go and listen for it." That is the prayerful attitude of not just spilling out what's inside of you, but receiving what's to come to you. God's answer to him is, "It's all in My hands. I've got it. My deliverance will come, though it seems to take a long time, wait for it. It will not delay. I am Almighty God." That's essentially what the answer was. We can have that fear because maybe we've gone overboard, but the Lord understands. If it's helping us to clear ourselves so we can receive Him, by all means.

Julie (00:42:31): One of our CQ volunteers, Becca, offered this practical comment. She said, "I think sometimes we focus so much on the fact that God is the Almighty Father, that it can almost feel inappropriate to talk to Him in a way we would a person. There's so much respect that sometimes I feel that can be a hurdle to connection. When we start to talk to God like we would a friend, sometimes that can help to build the closeness necessary to want to talk more frequently at intervals that aren't just compulsory and segmented like at meals or before going to bed. God should be the center of our lives and praying is the way to more easily put Him there." I really like that.

Rick (00:43:11): It is such a well-stated argument for putting yourself out even if you're afraid, because God the Father is "Daddy." How is that possible? It's through Jesus, because you are not worthy. I'm not worthy. None of us are worthy. We could stand on each other's shoulders and we're still not worthy. It all comes down to the sacrifice of Jesus being there for us. It's humility. Again, it's humility. In humility, we want to fully submit to God as our best defense against evil. Fearful or not, full submission is always in line. James 4:7-10:

Jonathan (00:43:51): "Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands (acknowledge your sin), you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you." When we thoroughly revere someone so much higher than us, we don't assume to be able to give them guidance or direction. It's a privilege just to be in their presence.

Rick (00:44:28): It is. That's why in James it says, "Be miserable and mourn and weep." Is he saying, "Take all of the joy out of your life?" No, he's saying, "Get down to the reality of your sinfulness. Bring it before the Lord." That's what we're talking about here. It's okay to be fearful in prayer. But we pray anyway, realizing that God is bigger than our fears because He's bigger than our problems. That's the way it all works. Proverbs 9:10:

Jonathan (00:44:54): "The fear (meaning reverence) of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding."

Rick (00:45:02): Reverence is always a key factor for transforming our prayer lives and lifting them up higher. Jonathan, Practicing the Principles of Proper Prayer; where are we?

Jonathan (00:45:16): Praying is critical when we don't feel thankful, as it puts that burden before the One whose love is ever present. Praying about those things we want to hide helps us to find peace in handling those very things. Reverence and awe are always the foundation for a fruitful and maturing prayer life.

Rick (00:45:38): The key is to have a prayer life that is growing up, that is maturing day-by-day as we learn how to and how to develop further a prayer life that can actually change the way we live. Our prayers can have amazing power if we use them to help us work through our times of despair and hiding. The key is, God is always there.

Jonathan (00:46:05): We have looked at many practical suggestions for transforming how we pray. But what do we do when we shy away from prayer altogether?

Rick (00:46:15): Okay. Shying away from prayer is an extremely important challenge, and that requires very specific attention. Sometimes shying away from prayer can be a result of anxiety or depression. We think, what's the use? Other times we might be inclined to shy away out of a sense of guilt or discouragement. In every case, we want to face this challenge in faith. Julie, it's about shying away now. What's our next issue?

Julie (00:46:45): Sometimes we don't pray because we feel paralyzed by our current state of anxiety or sinfulness. We know we are unworthy of this privilege of prayer. Let's go to David again and listen to how he described what this feels like in Psalms 32:3-4. He said, "When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; my vitality was drained away as with the fever heat of summer. Selah (pause and consider)." The problem with this not praying because of this sin is it becomes a vicious cycle. We don't want to pray because we're in a sinful situation and think we have no business approaching the throne, even though the Bible calls it a "throne of grace." But without a healthy prayer life, it's easier to keep shrinking back into sin. So doubts come pouring in and it's again, a vicious cycle.

Jonathan (00:47:38): Let me see if I have this right. The principle is, "when I was silent, then I was eaten up by my silence." So instead of being paralyzed and holding back, let's work on praying anyway. Tell God the things we want to hide so He can carry them. Psalms 32:1-2: "How blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered! How blessed is the man to whom the LORD does not impute iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit!"

Rick (00:48:11): In this case, we read Psalms 32:1-2 after we read 32:3-4 because 32:3-4 was about being eaten up. It's being eaten up by the sin because you feel like, in my current state of anxiety or sinfulness, I just can't pray. So David, this is a psalm written after he went through that and he introduces the psalm by saying, "How blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven." Then he went on to talk about how bad off he was when he wasn't praying. Now we continue with Psalms 32:5-7 because he's building on the power of release, the power of taking that which has kept you from praying and pouring it upon the heavenly Father so He can carry it. Psalms 32:5-7:

Jonathan (00:49:03): "I acknowledged my sin to You, and my iniquity I did not hide; I said, I will confess my transgressions to the LORD; and you forgave the guilt of my sin. Selah. Therefore, let everyone who is godly pray to You in a time when You may be found; surely in a flood of great waters, they will not reach him. You are my hiding place; You preserve me from trouble; You surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah."

Rick (00:49:34): God is bigger than our circumstances. God is bigger than our sins. God is bigger than our thoughts. God is bigger than what happens to us. God is bigger than what happens within us. God is bigger than all of it. We just need to be able to say, "Okay, I'm drowning on my own. I can't do it." Just like David in this psalm. He reaches up and he reaches out and he finds the grace that he needs to help. Again, for us as Christians, we may have this state of anxiety or sinfulness, and we may say, "It's not good for me to pray." Go use your advocate. Jesus stands for us as we pray to our heavenly Father. He opens the door so the Father can carry these things. Be encouraged, not discouraged when the trials of life are that heavy. Julie, what's next?

Julie (00:50:32): Does anybody out there feel too busy? Because sometimes we don't pray because we're so preoccupied with the cares of life. We all have so much going on. Do you ever go through a whole day or maybe even longer and think, "Huh, I forgot to pray." Is prayer one more thing to check off on our to-do list? Matthew 6:25 says, "For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is life not more than food, and the body more than clothing?"

Jonathan (00:51:07): Instead of not praying, let's work on praying without ceasing. Pray with words, thoughts and short phrases as your day demands your focused attention. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-22: "Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not quench the spirit; do not despise prophetic utterances. But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; abstain from every form of evil."

Rick (00:51:41): The cares of life are big. They're in front of us. They're on social media; we're reminded how much we're not. It just grows bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. Here's the thing; we have a burden to grow in Christ. That's our job. To be a disciple of Jesus is to walk in his footsteps and become more Christlike. The burden of growing in Christ is heavy enough. Why would we also decide to carry the weight of those things that God said He would carry? It's like you're given your backpack that just fits, and it's weighty and you're working, and you say, "Oh, but wait, I need to take these extra things." No, no, you don't. God said He'd hold them. "Oh no, no, I can handle them. I'm going to take them" because we get so busy with life and we're carrying all these extra burdens. God is saying, "Excuse me, those are the ones you already gave to me." "Oh, no, no, I got it. I got it, I got it." We get so busy that we carry all of the things that we've already given to Him. Let's put this back in perspective. Let's not let the cares of our life overwhelm us like that. Psalms 4:4-5:

Jonathan (00:52:51): "Tremble, and do not sin; meditate in your heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah. Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and trust in the LORD."

Julie (00:53:02): Only praying before sleeping isn't the best. I don't think I'm alone in praying, laying down after a long day and falling asleep mid prayer. It does make for some nice dreams, but we want to give God our best in all things. That includes our full attention whenever we possibly can.

Rick (00:53:18): That can be hard to do because life is busy and every moment has got something drawing its attention. Let's begin to put that in perspective. That doesn't mean we don't pray before we go to sleep, but it just shouldn't be the only time we pray. Psalms 103:1-5:

Jonathan (00:53:35): "Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name. Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget none of His benefits; Who pardons all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases; Who redeems your life from the pit, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion; Who satisfies your years with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle."

Rick (00:54:01): That's such an encouraging verse because it just gives you this pouring out of how good God is in our lives. For me, again, another personal experience: I run a business. We do Christian Questions podcast. I'm a minister in our church, and it's a very, very busy life. There's just lots and lots and lots of things that are always, always crowding my mind. It's easy for me, it's easy for Rick to forget to pray. So in my business world, in my daily life, I've established this little pattern that up until doing the preparation for this podcast I'd never really told anybody about. But I call it "the window." There's set of windows in my office for my business. Periodically during the day, several times a day, I get up from my desk when I'm starting to get frustrated with things. I walk around, then I go to the window, and whenever I go to the window, there's trees and so forth outside. You can see the sky and all that. That's my moment to just stop and put it before the Lord. Sometimes it just helps me to take a breath. Sometimes it helps me to change gears. I was working on X, Y, and Z and now I have to work on something entirely different. "Lord, help me change my focus." Sometimes it helps me to take myself out of the way. The window is this little place for me to go during the day as many times as I need to, to say, "Just help me stay on track, Lord, just help me do Your will. Just help me see what You want me to see, do what You want me to do in the way You want me to do it." Then I usually smile and walk back to my desk and say, "Okay, back to work." The beauty of that is it's a private thing. Now of course I've told you all. But it's a private thing, but if, during the day, somebody comes in or out of the office, they just think I'm looking out the window and I am having this prayer time with my Heavenly Father through Christ. It helps me to not be overwhelmed by the busyness of my days. Julie, what's next? We have one more issue to deal with.

Julie (00:56:09): Okay, I've got to go find a window. Sometimes, why don't we pray? We don't pray because we see ourselves as overwhelmingly unworthy. Now this is different from being in a willfully sinful state because in this case, issues for some like depression and PTSD can give us an untrue and unhealthy perception of ourselves and our place before God. It's like getting stuck in the groove of a record. (For the kids today, it's "vinyl." There's not even records anymore.) We can't move forward.

Jonathan (00:56:42): Having a mental challenge like depression or PTSD is about the wiring of our brain. It is not a sin and there is nothing sinful about seeking necessary professional help.

Julie (00:56:54): We're going to finish by looking at Psalm 51. Now, while these next few scriptures, they are about sin, we want to look at the principle that this particular psalm teaches because the sentiment described might feel similar and the remedy provided is the same. So we'll start with Psalms 51:3-4. Again, David, "For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against You, You only, have I sinned and done what is evil in Your sight, so that You are justified when You speak and blameless when You judge."

Jonathan (00:57:29): Instead, do pray because we are overwhelmingly unworthy and need to place that unworthiness into the capable and forgiving hands of our Father.

Rick (00:57:40): In that verse, when it said, "I know my transgression, my sin is ever before me." Look, like you said, Julie, before, this is not about sin. This is about wiring. "Lord, I know my depressive tendencies, my anxiety is ever before You." Change the words because you're doing the exact same thing. We put those before Him and we pray because we're not worthy. We pray because we don't know how to control it. We pray because it's too big. That's how this works. Learning to live faithfully and righteously after sin enables our prayers to be heard. See, once we sin our prayers are really, really, really important, right? Once we have an issue and we recognize that issue, the prayer is very important to be able to be heard. What do we look for? First we look to seek forgiveness. Psalm 51:1:

Jonathan (00:58:41): "Be gracious to me, O God, according to Your lovingkindness; according to the greatness of Your compassion blot out my transgressions."

Rick (00:58:50): Now, when you're talking about perhaps depression or PTSD, you say seek forgiveness. Didn't you just say that that's not something you're responsible for? The answer is no, you're not. What do we seek forgiveness for? We seek forgiveness for giving it too much attention and not trying to bring it over to the Father. "Father, I know You can handle this. I know You're bigger than my depression. I know You're bigger than my PTSD. Please forgive me for not always remembering that." Say that 30 or 40 or 50 or 60 times, help yourself transition to that forgiven perspective of, "I know it's bigger than me, but I know it's not bigger than You." Next is, seek to be cleansed. Psalms 51:7-9:

Jonathan (00:59:32): "Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me to hear joy and gladness, let the bones which You have broken rejoice. Hide Your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquities." We all have weaknesses and blind spots in our characters, and we're all broken. We need to keep battling each day to do better and ask God for forgiveness through Jesus' name, our loving advocate.

Rick (01:00:01): "Hide my depression from your face. Blot out the issues that I have with being able to process things because I just can't do it. In other words, Father, recognize who I am and let me recognize who I am in Your hands." That's how we become cleansed. Seek to be restored. Psalms 51:10-13:

Jonathan (01:00:25): "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence and do not take Your holy spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and sustain me with a willing spirit. Then I will teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners will be converted to You." What this is saying is, "Help me, Lord, overcome so I can help others now and in Your kingdom." Isn't that the point of our Christian walk?

Rick (01:00:56): It is the point, and especially for those of us who have those kind of issues that are just in us. What a beautiful privilege. Now I know it sounds trite to say that, looking from the outside in, but when you realize the ability to work through and cope with those things, even if you can't overcome them, is what the Lord God is looking for, and that's the restoration He wants. He's not looking for perfection. He's looking for us to rely on Him. That's victory in these cases. Then finally, seek to always remember the lesson. Psalms 51:16-17:

Jonathan (01:01:30): "For You do not delight in sacrifice, otherwise I would give it; You are not pleased with burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, You will not despise."

Rick (01:01:43): That's the point, especially with things again like depression and anxiety and PTSD and those things that we can't control. "You don't desire the perfection of something looking really good. What You desire is the heart that is a heart for God in spite of not being able to overcome those things." That's where God's answer to our prayers lives. It's in the heart attitude. He's not worried about you overcoming it. He's worried about you working on it in faith and trust. Jonathan, finally, Practicing the Principles of Proper Prayer:

Jonathan (01:02:21): Praying can be most important when we don't want to pray. It is in these times that the everlasting power, love, mercy, and wisdom of God can be most transformative. Let us wholeheartedly embrace the privilege of prayer and seek to be transformed by its power in our individual lives and experiences. Pray to find your way.

Julie (01:02:47): We're all unworthy and that's why we come in front of the "throne of grace," and that's why we have Jesus as our advocate. He covers all of our imperfections and our relationship with the Father is through Jesus and because of Jesus. That's how we can do this.

Rick (01:03:01): That's why it says in Hebrews 4:14-16, "For we do not have a high priest (Jesus) who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore, let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Folks, that is what prayer unlocks. Going to God through Christ unlocks the potential to live a fulfilled life, even if we don't have victory over all of the things that we face. It is the fulfillment of God's will, God's providence, God's spirit through Christ helping us to grow, even though imperfect, into stronger Christians so we can be an example of what Jesus Christ lived for and died for and was raised again for. Prayer changes things. Think about it. Folks, we love hearing from our listeners. We welcome your feedback and questions for this episode and other episodes at Christianaquestions.com. Coming up in our next episode, "Do Christians Have to Go to Church?" Talk to you next week.

Final notes (01:04:13): copyright @2023 Christian Questions. In addition to this transcript, we provide comprehensive CQ Rewind Show Notes for every episode. They include every scripture quoted during the podcast, as well as graphics, illustrations and bonus material. Click the "CQ Rewind Show Notes" button near the audio player or sign up to receive these weekly at ChristianQuestions.com. This transcript was created using artificial intelligence. While we believe it to be accurate, we apologize for any errors that may exist.